Lil Johnny and Grandpa
Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.
After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer.
Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.
"No."
"Well, then you're not big enough."
Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up.
Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.
"No."
"Well, then you're not big enough."
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies.
His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"
Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick, so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies."
========
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm
so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he
has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked.
The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would
climb the f*cking walls if you came to visit us again."
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little
lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabiths?"
And the shopkeeper gets down one his knees, so that he's on her
level,
and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy
bwack wabby?"
She in turn puts her hands on her knees, bends forward and says,
"I don't fink my pyfon gives a fuck!"