MATERNITY WARD

Maternity Ward

A nurse says to a girl in the maternity ward, "Would you like your husband to be present at the birth?" She says, "I'm afraid I don't have a husband, or a boyfriend. I'm unattached...I'll be having my baby on my own." After the birth, the nurse says to the girl, "You have a healthy bouncing baby, but the baby is black." The girl says, "I was down on my luck, so I took a job in a porno movie where the lead man was black." The nurse says, "The baby also has blonde hair." The girl says, "There was a Swedish guy in the movie, too." The nurse says, "The baby also has slanted eyes." The girl says, "There was a Chinaman in the movie, too." Then the nurse hands the baby to the girl. The girl spanks it, and it cries out. The girl says, "That's a relief. I was afraid the little bastard was gonna bark."   ========   What do a bungee jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're both in deep shit   What's the difference between a prostitute and a rooster? A rooster says, "Cock a doodle do" and a prostitute says, "Any cock'll do."   What's the difference between a woman and a sheep? The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.   What is the difference between a pay check and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your pay check!   ========    There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad." The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar." The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."