The Confessional
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a
wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren,
and great grandchildren. Last month, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with
each of them three times. Now they tell me that they are
both pregnant."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins? "
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody."
~~~~~~~~~~
Mary comes home from her date with Tom and is on cloud nine. She
happily tears off her clothes, tosses them all around the room jumps
into bed and falls fast asleep. The next morning her mom comes in
and
wakes Mary up and says, " How was your date last night?"
"It was alright, I guess."
"It must have been a lot better than that," says mom, " Your panties
are still stuck to the ceiling."
~~~~~~~~~~
FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
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