A lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed. “But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.
My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.”
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house.
The priest’s two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, “Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!”
Dec 31, 2009
What is love…
A student asks a teacher, “What is love?”
The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat
field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.”
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,
but he wonders….may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one… but may be there is an even bigger
one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to
realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher
told him, “…this is love… you keep looking for better ones, but
when later you realise, you have already missed the person.
The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat
field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.”
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,
but he wonders….may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one… but may be there is an even bigger
one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to
realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher
told him, “…this is love… you keep looking for better ones, but
when later you realise, you have already missed the person.
This is How INDIAN farmers are…….Very Clever… :)
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural area. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and your not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer replied. “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the city, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Villages. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?”
The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up.”
The Lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the Lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn’t.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old tossed, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up, You can keep the duck!”
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and your not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer replied. “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the city, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Villages. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?”
The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up.”
The Lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the Lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn’t.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old tossed, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up, You can keep the duck!”
“MUST READ” May I know the time please?!
May I know the time please?!
Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,
if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.
Young Man:
Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then
have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles.
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter
again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start
waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and
tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a
Watch
Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,
if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.
Young Man:
Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then
have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles.
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter
again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start
waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and
tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a
Watch
Guess Which One is Female?
Which of the two birds is a female?
Below are two birds.
Study them closely..... ....
See if you can spot which of the two is the female.
It can be done.
Even by one with limited bird watching skills.
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Below are two birds.
Study them closely..... ....
See if you can spot which of the two is the female.
It can be done.
Even by one with limited bird watching skills.
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Send this to all of the men you know and to women who have a great sense of humor.
Dec 30, 2009
Blonde Moment
A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help.
"I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady.
"For which kind of bird?" he asked helpfully.
"Oh, I dunno," she replied. "Whichever will grow the fastest...."
What did the blonde name her pet zebra? Spot
What did the blonde name her pet zebra? Spot
Why do blondes whistle in the shower? So they know which lips to wash.
----------------------
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has
ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still
haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it.
Why aren't we getting any ducks?"
Her friend says "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing
the
dog high enough."
Why don't blondes double recipes?
The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees!
What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still
haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it.
Why aren't we getting any ducks?"
Her friend says "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing
the
dog high enough."
Why don't blondes double recipes?
The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees!
What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Seriously Hottest Kisses
Seriously hottest kisses
Nice Kiss is on Head.
Sweet Kiss is on Cheeks.
Passionate Kiss is on Lips.
Romantic Kiss is on Neck
And
Seriously Hottest Kiss is on “IRON”
Friends I am collecting Gandhi’s photos.
Please give your contribution to my collection.
A small condition is, It must be on
100, 500 or 1000 rupees note only.
Human brain is the most
Outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
And stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Think Well Work Well
Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well
And also put ur Mobile inside the same well
Because you r not messageing me... Well
Mujhe raat bhar ye baat sone nahi deti
Zindagi 4 din ki ha to,
Test Match 5 din ka kyun.
Nice Kiss is on Head.
Sweet Kiss is on Cheeks.
Passionate Kiss is on Lips.
Romantic Kiss is on Neck
And
Seriously Hottest Kiss is on “IRON”
Friends I am collecting Gandhi’s photos.
Please give your contribution to my collection.
A small condition is, It must be on
100, 500 or 1000 rupees note only.
Human brain is the most
Outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
And stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Think Well Work Well
Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well
And also put ur Mobile inside the same well
Because you r not messageing me... Well
Mujhe raat bhar ye baat sone nahi deti
Zindagi 4 din ki ha to,
Test Match 5 din ka kyun.
The Bull & The Bear
Once upon a time there lived a bear in a cave deep in the woods. Nearby was a meadow in which a farmer kept his cattle -- and one large, ferocious-looking bull. Each day the bear hid at the edge of the woods, watching the bull.
The bear was known as the strongest, most fierce creature for miles around. No other beast in the forest dared to tangle with him. As the bear watched the bull peacefully gazing, he wondered which one of them would win a test of strength. He thought about this for many days. Then one morning he decided to challenge the bull to a fight to the finish.
The bull had just chomped down on a fresh clump of clover when he looked up and saw the bear barreling across the meadow toward him. He stopped chewing. The red flag of danger popped up in his head. The bear skidded to a halt in front of him.
The bull lowered his head menacingly, his sharp horns aimed right for the bear's throat. For long moments they stood in place -- eyeball to eyeball -- neither one of them moving. Finally the bull grew tired of the stare-down and asked, "What do you want, Bear?"
"I want to fight you," growled the bear.
"Why?" asked the bull.
"Because, I want to prove that I am a stronger and better fighter than you are."
The bull laughed. "I thought you really wanted something. You can't possibly win against me. I have sharp horns that can cause terrible injuries."
"And my claws are sharp and quick," the bear shot back. "I have defeated many an enemy -- anyone who would harm my cubs or take away my mate. I am the king of the forest!"
"Then go back to the forest," the bull bluntly advised. "This is the meadow."
The bear blinked in surprise. "I beg your pardon..."
"I mean, what's the point of me fighting with you?" the bull asked. "What would that prove? We are not enemies. I have not harmed your cubs or taken your mate."
"It would prove that I am the strongest."
"Okay," said the bull, smiling. "I'll buy that. You are strongest. Now leave and let me graze in peace."
"Just one cotton-pickin' minute. What do you mean by that?" The bear raised a club-like paw. "I will tear you to shreds. Defend yourself."
"What you do is up to you," the bull answered calmly. "But if you do, what will all your friends -- the ones who are watching us right now -- think about you?"
"They will think that I am the strongest," yelled the frustrated bear.
"I don't think so. I do not choose to fight you just because you choose to fight with me. I would only fight to defend one of the cows in my care. If you attack one of them, then I'd be obliged to give you a good lashing."
"I can't attack them," protested the bear. "They can't fight back. There would be no victory to it."
"Exactly," answered the bull. "But what if you did? And what if I should try to defend them? What if something should happen to me? Who would protect them then? You? Would you trust me to protect your cubs if something happened to you? What would happen to your family if you lose the fight?"
"I never thought of that," said the bear.
"Go back into the woods, Bear," said the bull as he turned to walk away. "Live in peace. And I will stay in the meadow and do the same."
The bear turned toward the woods. He had come spoiling for a fight -- to prove which one was the strongest.
But he had learned an important lesson from a very wise bull. In peace, there are no losers.
The bear was known as the strongest, most fierce creature for miles around. No other beast in the forest dared to tangle with him. As the bear watched the bull peacefully gazing, he wondered which one of them would win a test of strength. He thought about this for many days. Then one morning he decided to challenge the bull to a fight to the finish.
The bull had just chomped down on a fresh clump of clover when he looked up and saw the bear barreling across the meadow toward him. He stopped chewing. The red flag of danger popped up in his head. The bear skidded to a halt in front of him.
The bull lowered his head menacingly, his sharp horns aimed right for the bear's throat. For long moments they stood in place -- eyeball to eyeball -- neither one of them moving. Finally the bull grew tired of the stare-down and asked, "What do you want, Bear?"
"I want to fight you," growled the bear.
"Why?" asked the bull.
"Because, I want to prove that I am a stronger and better fighter than you are."
The bull laughed. "I thought you really wanted something. You can't possibly win against me. I have sharp horns that can cause terrible injuries."
"And my claws are sharp and quick," the bear shot back. "I have defeated many an enemy -- anyone who would harm my cubs or take away my mate. I am the king of the forest!"
"Then go back to the forest," the bull bluntly advised. "This is the meadow."
The bear blinked in surprise. "I beg your pardon..."
"I mean, what's the point of me fighting with you?" the bull asked. "What would that prove? We are not enemies. I have not harmed your cubs or taken your mate."
"It would prove that I am the strongest."
"Okay," said the bull, smiling. "I'll buy that. You are strongest. Now leave and let me graze in peace."
"Just one cotton-pickin' minute. What do you mean by that?" The bear raised a club-like paw. "I will tear you to shreds. Defend yourself."
"What you do is up to you," the bull answered calmly. "But if you do, what will all your friends -- the ones who are watching us right now -- think about you?"
"They will think that I am the strongest," yelled the frustrated bear.
"I don't think so. I do not choose to fight you just because you choose to fight with me. I would only fight to defend one of the cows in my care. If you attack one of them, then I'd be obliged to give you a good lashing."
"I can't attack them," protested the bear. "They can't fight back. There would be no victory to it."
"Exactly," answered the bull. "But what if you did? And what if I should try to defend them? What if something should happen to me? Who would protect them then? You? Would you trust me to protect your cubs if something happened to you? What would happen to your family if you lose the fight?"
"I never thought of that," said the bear.
"Go back into the woods, Bear," said the bull as he turned to walk away. "Live in peace. And I will stay in the meadow and do the same."
The bear turned toward the woods. He had come spoiling for a fight -- to prove which one was the strongest.
But he had learned an important lesson from a very wise bull. In peace, there are no losers.
Eight type of ORGASM
There are at least EIGHT types of ORGASM of a WOMAN. 1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes 2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No 3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No 4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming 5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God 6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More 7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you 8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH... Deeper... Go DEEPER!
Nail in Feet Prank
While using Nailgun, you should be very careful
else results can be very dangerous
Here is a video with the results, or so called fake results ;).
else results can be very dangerous
Here is a video with the results, or so called fake results ;).
What an Awesome Reply
It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other.
Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"
Santa Di Beemari Te Doctor Da Ilaaz
Ek Din Santa Doctor Kol Geya Te Doctor Ne Pucchya: “Ki Problem Hai”
Santa: “Doctor Saab Mere Tatte Neele Pe Gaye Ne”
Doctor Ne Keya: “Eh Te Zehar Failda Peya Hai Ehna Nu Kattna Payega”
Santa: “Katt Do Ji”
Santa Do Din Baad Fir Doctor Kol Pahunch Gaya
Santa: “Dr Saab Mera Lunn V Neela Ho Gaya Hai”
Doctor Ne Checkup Karan To Baad Keya: “Eh V Kattna Payega Nahi Taan Zehar Hor Fail Jayega Peshab Vaste Naali (Pipe) Laa Davange”
Santa Fir Do Din Baad Doctor Kol Vapis Aa Gaya
Santa: “Dr Saab Hun Te Naali V Neeli Pe Gayi Hai”
Doctor Ne Checkup Keeta Te Khush Hoke Boleya
“Oye Santya Beemari Pata Lagg Gayi Hai, Tere Kachhe Da Rang Utarda Peya Hai“
Santa: “Doctor Saab Mere Tatte Neele Pe Gaye Ne”
Doctor Ne Keya: “Eh Te Zehar Failda Peya Hai Ehna Nu Kattna Payega”
Santa: “Katt Do Ji”
Santa Do Din Baad Fir Doctor Kol Pahunch Gaya
Santa: “Dr Saab Mera Lunn V Neela Ho Gaya Hai”
Doctor Ne Checkup Karan To Baad Keya: “Eh V Kattna Payega Nahi Taan Zehar Hor Fail Jayega Peshab Vaste Naali (Pipe) Laa Davange”
Santa Fir Do Din Baad Doctor Kol Vapis Aa Gaya
Santa: “Dr Saab Hun Te Naali V Neeli Pe Gayi Hai”
Doctor Ne Checkup Keeta Te Khush Hoke Boleya
“Oye Santya Beemari Pata Lagg Gayi Hai, Tere Kachhe Da Rang Utarda Peya Hai“
Adult Hindi Movies Name
- Hasina Ki Gaand Mein Pasina
- Hot Chicks With Short Dicks
- Ghaagre Mein Dhoom-Dhadaaka
- Lund Andar -Dum Jallandar
- Teen Randiyo Ki Daastan.
- Cheen Rani Ki Peeli Chut – A Mystery.
- Tamboo Mein Bamboo
- Tharak Ke Pujari
- Bhaag Bhosdi Aandhi Aayi
- Andehri Raat Mein Diya Tere Haath Mein.
- Tu Jhuk Mein Daloon
- Salwaar Mein Talwar !
- Woh Ek Thi Uspar Teen Thhe
- Kambal Mein Oye Hoye
- Chamatkaar Se Hua Balatkaar
- Lund Wale Fuddiyaan Le Jayenge
- Gali Hui Choot Ka Sada Hua Pissu
- Phakad Ke Panty Chod De Aunty
- Haseena Dikhaya Vagina
- Khoon Bahri Gaand
- Lund-The Fucker
- Abla Nari Ka Babbla Bhari
- Choot Ka Bhoot
- Pati Fauj Mein Patni Mouj Mein
Ek tatte wala aadmi
Ek Aadmi ke Sirf ek tatte hote hain, woh job interview ke liye jaata
hai.. Inteview pass karne ke baad, woh Interviewer se kehta hai uske
sirf ek hee tatte hai, yeh sunkar Interviwer uska Job Confirmation
letter cancel kar deta hai.
Woh aadmi doosre jagah kaam dhoondne jaata, wahan bhi jab Employer
ko maloom padtha hai kee uske ek he tatte hai, usko regret letter
thama deta hai,
Yeh silsila kaafi dino tak chalta rehta hai, akhir usko ek din Job
mil hee jata hai
Woh khush ho kar Employer ka dhanyavad karta hai, aur usse kehta
ha “Aapne yeh jaankar kee mere ek hee tatte hai, phir bhi kaam pe
rakha, issliye mein office roz ek ghante pehle aaonga”
Employer usse kehta hai ” Tumhare ek hee tatte hai, issliye tum ek
ghanta late aao”
Aadmi pareshan ho jata hai aur poochta hai ” Aisa kyun”
Employer : “Bhai, yahan aane ke baad, Log ek ghante apne Tatte hee
khujate rehte hai, tum time pe aake kya karoge”
hai.. Inteview pass karne ke baad, woh Interviewer se kehta hai uske
sirf ek hee tatte hai, yeh sunkar Interviwer uska Job Confirmation
letter cancel kar deta hai.
Woh aadmi doosre jagah kaam dhoondne jaata, wahan bhi jab Employer
ko maloom padtha hai kee uske ek he tatte hai, usko regret letter
thama deta hai,
Yeh silsila kaafi dino tak chalta rehta hai, akhir usko ek din Job
mil hee jata hai
Woh khush ho kar Employer ka dhanyavad karta hai, aur usse kehta
ha “Aapne yeh jaankar kee mere ek hee tatte hai, phir bhi kaam pe
rakha, issliye mein office roz ek ghante pehle aaonga”
Employer usse kehta hai ” Tumhare ek hee tatte hai, issliye tum ek
ghanta late aao”
Aadmi pareshan ho jata hai aur poochta hai ” Aisa kyun”
Employer : “Bhai, yahan aane ke baad, Log ek ghante apne Tatte hee
khujate rehte hai, tum time pe aake kya karoge”
Nawab ka Lund
ek�baar�ek nawab hota hai. Waqt ke saath nawabi chali jati hai or
khane peene ke vande ho jate hai.�ek din aakhir gareebi se dukhi
hoker kuch paise ka jugad karne ke sochte hai or mohalley ke sare
baccho ko bulakar kahte hai jao baccho sub 10-10 paise laker aao
main tum subko tamasha dikhata hu.
Sub bacche apne ma baap se 10-10 paise laker nawab ko dete hai or
tamasha dikhane ko bolte hai….Nawab paise laker subko bhaga deta
hai, Sub bacche gar jaker apne parents se complain karte hai to
puura mohalla nawab ke gar pahuch jata hai….itne logo ko dekhkar
nawab ki g**d phat jati hai or wo mafee mangta hai subse or sub
baccho ko agle din bulata hai Tamasha dikhane ke liye.
Agle din phir sare bacche nawab ke gar aate hai or tamasha dikhane
ko bolte hai…to nawab apni salwar utar ke subko lund dikha dete to
bacche dar jate hai or phir apne parents ko complain karte hai ki
nawab sahib ne tamashe ke naam per lund dikha diya…is baar sare
garwale bahut krodit ho jate hai or nawab ke gar per talware laker
pahuch jate hai.
ek�aadmi: nawab benchod baher nikal.
nawab baher aata hai to sub mohalle wale chillaker bolte hai Nawab
sahib aapko sharm nahi aati ki aapne tamashe ke naam per in masoom
baccho ko apna lund dikha diya….
Is per Nawab bola….Ye to waqt ki ma chud rahi jo Nawabi lode 10-10
paise main dekhne ko mil rahe hai…..
khane peene ke vande ho jate hai.�ek din aakhir gareebi se dukhi
hoker kuch paise ka jugad karne ke sochte hai or mohalley ke sare
baccho ko bulakar kahte hai jao baccho sub 10-10 paise laker aao
main tum subko tamasha dikhata hu.
Sub bacche apne ma baap se 10-10 paise laker nawab ko dete hai or
tamasha dikhane ko bolte hai….Nawab paise laker subko bhaga deta
hai, Sub bacche gar jaker apne parents se complain karte hai to
puura mohalla nawab ke gar pahuch jata hai….itne logo ko dekhkar
nawab ki g**d phat jati hai or wo mafee mangta hai subse or sub
baccho ko agle din bulata hai Tamasha dikhane ke liye.
Agle din phir sare bacche nawab ke gar aate hai or tamasha dikhane
ko bolte hai…to nawab apni salwar utar ke subko lund dikha dete to
bacche dar jate hai or phir apne parents ko complain karte hai ki
nawab sahib ne tamashe ke naam per lund dikha diya…is baar sare
garwale bahut krodit ho jate hai or nawab ke gar per talware laker
pahuch jate hai.
ek�aadmi: nawab benchod baher nikal.
nawab baher aata hai to sub mohalle wale chillaker bolte hai Nawab
sahib aapko sharm nahi aati ki aapne tamashe ke naam per in masoom
baccho ko apna lund dikha diya….
Is per Nawab bola….Ye to waqt ki ma chud rahi jo Nawabi lode 10-10
paise main dekhne ko mil rahe hai…..
Dec 29, 2009
Friendship Between Women And Men
Friendship Between Women:
When A Wife Did Not Come Home One Night And Next Day She Told Her Husband That She Had Slept Last Night At A Friend’s House.
Then The Husband Called His Wife’s Ten Best Friends.
None Of Them Knew About It.
Friendship Between Men:
When A Husband Didn’t Come Home One Night And The Next Day He Told His Wife That He Had Slept Last Night At A Friend’s House
Then Wife Called Her Husband’s Ten Best Friends
Eight Of Them Confirmed That He Had Slept Over
And Two Claimed That He Was Still There.
When A Wife Did Not Come Home One Night And Next Day She Told Her Husband That She Had Slept Last Night At A Friend’s House.
Then The Husband Called His Wife’s Ten Best Friends.
None Of Them Knew About It.
Friendship Between Men:
When A Husband Didn’t Come Home One Night And The Next Day He Told His Wife That He Had Slept Last Night At A Friend’s House
Then Wife Called Her Husband’s Ten Best Friends
Eight Of Them Confirmed That He Had Slept Over
And Two Claimed That He Was Still There.
Common Between Men And Dog
- Both Take Up Too Much Space On The Bed.
- Both Have Irrational Fears About Vacuum Cleaning.
- Both Are Threatened By Their Own Kind
- Both Like To Chew Wood.
- Both Mark Their Territory.
- Both Are Bad At Asking You Questions.
- Neither Tells You What’s Bothering Them.
- Both Tend To Smell Riper With Age.
- The Smaller Ones Tend To Be More Nervous.
- Neither Does Any Dishes.
- Neither Of Them Notice When You Get Your Hair Cut.
- Both Like Dominance Games.
- Both Are Suspicious Of The Postman.
- Neither Knows How To Talk On The Telephone.
- Neither Understands What You See In Cats.
Santa & Wrong Number
Santa Ne Delhi Se Apni Wife Ko Chandigarh Phone Kiya To Naukar Ne Phone Uthaya.
Santa: “Madam Se Baat Karvao Meri”
Naukar: “Wo To Sahab Ke Saath Room Mein So Rahi Hai”
Santa: “Par Saab To Main Hoon”
Naukar: “To Fir Mein Kya Karoo”
Santa: “Dono Ko Jaake Goli Maar De”
After Killing
Naukar: “Laasho Ka Kya Karu?”
Santa: Ghar Ke Piche Jo Swimming Pool Hai Usmein Laashein Fenk Ke Bhaag Ja”
Naukar: “Par Hamare Ghar Mein To Swimmingpool Hai Hi Nahi”
Santa: “Oh Tuhadi Pen Di, Eh Taan Wrong Number Si
Santa: “Madam Se Baat Karvao Meri”
Naukar: “Wo To Sahab Ke Saath Room Mein So Rahi Hai”
Santa: “Par Saab To Main Hoon”
Naukar: “To Fir Mein Kya Karoo”
Santa: “Dono Ko Jaake Goli Maar De”
After Killing
Naukar: “Laasho Ka Kya Karu?”
Santa: Ghar Ke Piche Jo Swimming Pool Hai Usmein Laashein Fenk Ke Bhaag Ja”
Naukar: “Par Hamare Ghar Mein To Swimmingpool Hai Hi Nahi”
Santa: “Oh Tuhadi Pen Di, Eh Taan Wrong Number Si
Akbar Birbal our Randi ki Farmayish
Ek baar, Akbar ke darbar mein ek randi ne mujra kiya. Woh badi hi KANTEELI NACHANIYA thi.Itni zor se naachi ke sabke tatte short ho gaye.
Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, “Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti,jaageer…. kya chahiye, bol.Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de…...uski behen chod di jayegi.”
Randi bahut khush hui muh maange inaam ki baat sunke.Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hitha .
Woh Akbar se boli, “Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamati mile to kuch arz
karoon”.
Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha.Woh bola, “Jo marzi
maang, Jamna darling.”
Randi boli,“Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgadi pe tatti karni hai.”
Ek baar to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi BAWLI GAAND to nahin ho gayi? Lekin woh manaa bhi nahin kar sakta tha….promise jo kar diya tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye kaha, par randi bhi bahut seasoned campaigner thi…. woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date dedi.
Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa dega, par bhen ki laudi maan ke nahin deti thi. Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya, Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi….usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya.
Usne Birbal se kaha ki ab mughal sultanat ki izzat usi ke haath mein
hai. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe use apni maa chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.
Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka.
Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah -subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, “Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon… jaldi se raajgaddi pe haggi maarne ki vyawastha kijiye.”
Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf dekha. Birbal to bhen
ka lauda hasi has raha tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, “Jamnabai, tumne tatti karne ki demand ki thi….so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar choot mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga….”
Randi ko samajh aa gaya ki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se
nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Woh chupchaap uthi aur ghar chali gayi…...
Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, “Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti,jaageer…. kya chahiye, bol.Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de…...uski behen chod di jayegi.”
Randi bahut khush hui muh maange inaam ki baat sunke.Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hi
Woh Akbar se boli, “Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamati mile to kuch arz
karoon”.
Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha.Woh bola, “Jo marzi
maang, Jamna darling.”
Randi boli,“Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgadi pe tatti karni hai.”
Ek baar to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi BAWLI GAAND to nahin ho gayi? Lekin woh manaa bhi nahin kar sakta tha….promise jo kar diya tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye kaha, par randi bhi bahut seasoned campaigner thi…. woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date dedi.
Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa dega, par bhen ki laudi maan ke nahin deti thi. Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya, Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi….usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya.
Usne Birbal se kaha ki ab mughal sultanat ki izzat usi ke haath mein
hai. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe use apni maa chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.
Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka.
Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah -subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, “Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon… jaldi se raajgaddi pe haggi maarne ki vyawastha kijiye.”
Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf dekha. Birbal to bhen
ka lauda hasi has raha tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, “Jamnabai, tumne tatti karne ki demand ki thi….so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar choot mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga….”
Randi ko samajh aa gaya ki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se
nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Woh chupchaap uthi aur ghar chali gayi…...
dog
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone...
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back ... "Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't *have* a dog."
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back ... "Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't *have* a dog."
50 More Facts
1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
2. A raisin dropped in a glass of freshchampagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
8. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casin0s.
13. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
14. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
15. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
16. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
17. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
18. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
19. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
20. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
22. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
23. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
25. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
26. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
27. A mathematical wonder: 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 gives the result 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321.
28. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
29. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
30. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
31. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
32. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
33. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
34. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
35. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
36. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
37. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
39. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.
40. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
41. Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.
42. Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
43. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
44. Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
45. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.
46. There are more chickens than people in the world.
47. It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.
48. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
49. The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is "s ub c ont in ent al".
50. There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
2. A raisin dropped in a glass of freshchampagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
8. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casin0s.
13. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
14. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
15. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
16. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
17. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
18. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
19. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
20. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
22. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
23. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
25. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
26. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
27. A mathematical wonder: 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 gives the result 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321.
28. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
29. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
30. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
31. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
32. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
33. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
34. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
35. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
36. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
37. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
39. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.
40. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
41. Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.
42. Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
43. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
44. Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
45. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.
46. There are more chickens than people in the world.
47. It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.
48. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
49. The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is "s ub c ont in ent al".
50. There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
Lucky guy
A deformed and ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the bartender.
"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks; like in the movies.
I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made …. All night, all over the house. We did everything;!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno...never found the head."
"What are you so happy about?" asks the bartender.
"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks; like in the movies.
I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made …. All night, all over the house. We did everything;!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno...never found the head."
EASY ....... DIFFICULT
Easy is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.
What Every Mom's advice to her son ......... Check It ...
Every Mom’s advice to her son ………..
1960’s Mom to her son— beta, apne caste ki ladki
se hi shaadi karna
1970’s…………………….. Apne religion ki
1980’s ……………………. Apne level ki
1990’s ……………………. Apne desh ki
2000 ……………………. Apni umar ki
.
.
.
.
2009 AFTER WATCHING DOSTANA
……………………. Koi bhi ho,
Par Beta Ladki se hi karna….…..….. !!!
KYUNKI
MAA DA LADLA VIGARD GAYA
1960’s Mom to her son— beta, apne caste ki ladki
se hi shaadi karna
1970’s…………………….. Apne religion ki
1980’s ……………………. Apne level ki
1990’s ……………………. Apne desh ki
2000 ……………………. Apni umar ki
.
.
.
.
2009 AFTER WATCHING DOSTANA
……………………. Koi bhi ho,
Par Beta Ladki se hi karna….…..….. !!!
KYUNKI
MAA DA LADLA VIGARD GAYA
A Glass of Milk
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.
He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.
Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water! She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?"
You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."
He said ... "Then I thank you from my heart."
As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.
Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.
Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.
He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.
After a long struggle, the battle was won.
Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words ...
"Paid in full with one glass of milk"
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be kind and helpful! You never know what your kindness and helping nature will get you back.
Boy and Tree
There was one time a very young boy, who used to spend time playing by a tree.
One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!"
The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches."
The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree.
When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused.
"My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."
So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing."
The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing.
Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade.
As he got older, and moved on to college, times became harder on him and he ran short of food, so he went back to the tree which he had stopped visiting for a long time.
The tree recognised him immediately and welcomed him, but he was hungry and complained to the tree, "I don't have any food to eat, my stomach is cringing with hunger."
So the tree said, "Pull down my branches and take off the fruit, and fill yourself up."
The young guy didn't even hesitate, but jumped up and tore off one of the smaller branches and ate to his fill.
Over the weeks, he tore off all the branches and ate all the fruit.
After the fruits had all gone, he went away and didn't come back to the tree.
When he reached his middle ages, he came back to the tree and said to it, "I have been very successful in life.
I have earned a lot of money, I have a huge house and I have found a great wife.
Now I want to travel and see the world."
The tree was now very old, but to help its long time companion, it didn't wait, and said, "Bring a saw, cut off my trunk and make a boat. Then you will see the wonders of the world."
So again, without hesitation the man cut down the tree.
The same tree which he had played on, ate its fruit, laid in its shade; he cut it down and made a boat.
As soon as it was finished, he sailed away and wasn't seen by his people again.
One day, an old man, walked past the tree.
It hadnt recovered from the time he had cut it down. He went up to the tree, but didn't say anything.
He felt the tears coming down from his eyes.
This time the tree spoke in a faint voice, "I'm sorry. I don't have a trunk for you to climb, nor fruit for you to eat, nor branches of shade for you to lie in. All I have now are my deep roots."
The old man whispered, "That's fine. Tree roots are the best place to lie down, snuggle up and sleep after a long life."
The tree symbolizes our parents, and the boy symbolizes us.
The moral of the story is that we make use of our parents like tissue, and use them all up, and don't even give thanks, but they stay with us till the very end.
One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!"
The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches."
The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree.
When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused.
"My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."
So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing."
The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing.
Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade.
As he got older, and moved on to college, times became harder on him and he ran short of food, so he went back to the tree which he had stopped visiting for a long time.
The tree recognised him immediately and welcomed him, but he was hungry and complained to the tree, "I don't have any food to eat, my stomach is cringing with hunger."
So the tree said, "Pull down my branches and take off the fruit, and fill yourself up."
The young guy didn't even hesitate, but jumped up and tore off one of the smaller branches and ate to his fill.
Over the weeks, he tore off all the branches and ate all the fruit.
After the fruits had all gone, he went away and didn't come back to the tree.
When he reached his middle ages, he came back to the tree and said to it, "I have been very successful in life.
I have earned a lot of money, I have a huge house and I have found a great wife.
Now I want to travel and see the world."
The tree was now very old, but to help its long time companion, it didn't wait, and said, "Bring a saw, cut off my trunk and make a boat. Then you will see the wonders of the world."
So again, without hesitation the man cut down the tree.
The same tree which he had played on, ate its fruit, laid in its shade; he cut it down and made a boat.
As soon as it was finished, he sailed away and wasn't seen by his people again.
One day, an old man, walked past the tree.
It hadnt recovered from the time he had cut it down. He went up to the tree, but didn't say anything.
He felt the tears coming down from his eyes.
This time the tree spoke in a faint voice, "I'm sorry. I don't have a trunk for you to climb, nor fruit for you to eat, nor branches of shade for you to lie in. All I have now are my deep roots."
The old man whispered, "That's fine. Tree roots are the best place to lie down, snuggle up and sleep after a long life."
The tree symbolizes our parents, and the boy symbolizes us.
The moral of the story is that we make use of our parents like tissue, and use them all up, and don't even give thanks, but they stay with us till the very end.
Sardar Balle Balle
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an
Sardar are all walking together one day..
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total',
Says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm... I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada '
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians
Can come into our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Sardar says, 'I am very curious.
Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out;
it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Sardar sits down on his Harley , cracks a beer, lights a cigarette,
Smiles and says,
'Fill the fucker with water.'
Sardar Balle Balle !!!
Keep laughing
Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
'Woo ooo! Woo ooo! Woo ooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,
'Woo ooo! Woo ooo! Woo oooo!
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.
'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'
The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler
'Woo ooo! Woo ooo! Woo ooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.
Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Woo ooo! Woo ooo! Woo ooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer.
'Woo ooo! Woo ooo! Woo ooo!' from deep inside.
He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Woo ooo! Woo ooo! Woo ooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.
All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
'
'
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.
'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'
The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler
'
Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, '
Immediately, there was the answer.
'
He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might '
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............
You'll like this...............
NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!
Bike Accidents
For all you bikers out there
who love speed and want to do some insane stunts
just take a look how easily you can loose your life while doing all this
Please love yourself and more than that love them who loves you.
who love speed and want to do some insane stunts
just take a look how easily you can loose your life while doing all this
Please love yourself and more than that love them who loves you.
Compilation of Crash and Drifts
Here is a video which tell you that
if you try to do some insane Bike stunts
then what can be the results
PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
if you try to do some insane Bike stunts
then what can be the results
PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
SERT Panda Car banned Ad
This is the best ad one can ever see
This was banned in few countries
and few countries were still showing this ad
Have a look at this ad.
This was banned in few countries
and few countries were still showing this ad
Have a look at this ad.
Skeleton Out of ground Prank
While walking in a park
you are most relaxed
but what happens when you see something very unusual
A skeleton out coming out of a ground...
you are most relaxed
but what happens when you see something very unusual
A skeleton out coming out of a ground...
THE MAN WHO WILLED HIMSELF TO DIE
There was a man who worked for the railroad. One day as he went into the freezer compartment to do his routine work, the door accidentally closed and he found himself trapped in the compartment.
He shouted for help but no one heard him since it was past midnight. He tried to break down the door but he could not. As he lay in the freezer compartment, he began to feel colder, and colder. Then he began to feel weaker, and weaker, and he wrote on the wall of the compartment, “I am feeling colder, and colder; and I am getting weaker, and weaker. I am dying, and this may be my last words”.
In the morning when the other workers opened up the compartment they found him dead. The sad twist to the above story is that the freezing apparatus in the compartment had broke down a few days earlier.
The poor worker did not know about the damaged freezing apparatus and in his mind the freezing apparatus was working perfectly. He felt cold, got weaker and literally willed himself to die.
SUCCESS PRINCIPLES
Our sub-conscious mind can be cheated. The sub-conscious mind can only accept and act on information passed to it by the conscious mind. It has no capacity to reject or decline any instructions or
Information passed to it by the conscious mind. In the case of the poor worker, he consciously thought that he was getting colder, weaker and dying and the sub-conscious mind accepted the above instructions and affected his physical body. That was how he willed
Himself to die.
MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE
"Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen."
He shouted for help but no one heard him since it was past midnight. He tried to break down the door but he could not. As he lay in the freezer compartment, he began to feel colder, and colder. Then he began to feel weaker, and weaker, and he wrote on the wall of the compartment, “I am feeling colder, and colder; and I am getting weaker, and weaker. I am dying, and this may be my last words”.
In the morning when the other workers opened up the compartment they found him dead. The sad twist to the above story is that the freezing apparatus in the compartment had broke down a few days earlier.
The poor worker did not know about the damaged freezing apparatus and in his mind the freezing apparatus was working perfectly. He felt cold, got weaker and literally willed himself to die.
SUCCESS PRINCIPLES
Our sub-conscious mind can be cheated. The sub-conscious mind can only accept and act on information passed to it by the conscious mind. It has no capacity to reject or decline any instructions or
Information passed to it by the conscious mind. In the case of the poor worker, he consciously thought that he was getting colder, weaker and dying and the sub-conscious mind accepted the above instructions and affected his physical body. That was how he willed
Himself to die.
MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE
"Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen."
Dec 28, 2009
Wedding Ring!
Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.....
Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children
Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip.
Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.
Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.
Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.
Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!
Please try this out......... ISN'T THIS A LOVELY THEORY?
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.....
Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children
Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip.
Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.
Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.
Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.
Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!
Please try this out......... ISN'T THIS A LOVELY THEORY?
Car operating system
Bill's company made software to run a car.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
This is what ..... Looks Like !!
THIS IS WHAT
SORRY
LOOKS LIKE.
SORRY
LOOKS LIKE.
This is what
tired
looks like.
tired
looks like.
This is what
bad spelling
looks like..
bad spelling
looks like..
This is what
intimacy
looks like.
intimacy
looks like.
This is what
courage
looks like.
courage
looks like.
This is what
'good grief!!'
looks like.
'good grief!!'
looks like.
This is what your
tax dollars
look like.
tax dollars
look like.
This is what
'I can wait'
looks like.
'I can wait'
looks like.
This is what a
blonde's
car looks like..
blonde's
car looks like..
This is what a
helping hand
looks like
helping hand
looks like
This is what
cold
looks like.
cold
looks like.
This is what a
bad mood
looks like.
bad mood
looks like.
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to.
Just remember if it made you smile, your friends will smile too!
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.......
'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Just remember if it made you smile, your friends will smile too!
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.......
'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Try it out !!!
1.Copy the below content and Paste it to notepad.
2 Use replace all (Ctrl + H)
3.And click on 'replace all' 6 with _ (Under score), (Try font size as 6)
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2 Use replace all (Ctrl + H)
3.And click on 'replace all' 6 with _ (Under score), (Try font size as 6)
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