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Aug 29, 2013

Jaws



 

'Even my friends called me Jaws': Woman, 20, undergoes surgery to have severe underbite removed - and now feels beautiful for the first time in her life

  • Leanne Woodfull, from Dublin, developed a severe underbite after she was fitted with braces as a child - by 13 her jaw protruded dramatically
  • She was bullied and and became depressed about her appearance and would cover the lower half of her face to hide her facial 'deformity'
  • She eventually underwent a five-hour operation to break both jaws and fit titanium plates to reshape her facial structure
  • The procedure was successful and she feels more confident than ever and want to go into television presenting

A girl nicknamed 'Jaws' because of her severe underbite is embracing her life post-surgery.
Leanne Woodfull, 20, from Dublin, Ireland, was teased and tormented throughout her teenage years by cruel bullies who compared her to the James Bond villain because of her protruding jaw.
It was caused by a brace that was fitted when she was 11 but this year, shortly before her birthday, Leanne underwent life-changing surgery to fix what she perceived as a deformity.
Scroll down for video 
Leanne Woodfull before surgery
Leanne Woodfull pre-surgery
Leanne developed a severe underbite when she was fitted with 'train-track' style braces as a child. As her top teeth straightened out, they pushed back into her mouth, meeting edge to edge with her bottom set and causing her lower jaw to protrude
'My big jaw was ruining my life and I'm just so happy I can finally smile with confidence,' Leanne, from Dublin, said. 'When I look in the mirror I'm relieved to see the 'Jaws' girl I once knew has finally disappeared.'
 
Leanne noticed the change in her face when she was fitted with 'train-track' style braces as a child.
As her top teeth straightened out, they pushed back into her mouth, meeting edge to edge with her bottom set and causing her lower jaw to protrude outwards.
Leanne Woodfull
Leanne Woodfull (pictured post-procedure) underwent surgery to fix her severe underbite. Surgeons broke both her jaws and re-set them into a new position, inserting titaniums plates into her mouth. After five hours, her face was transformed
Leanne Woodfull
Leanne's chin jutted out dramatically (pictured from various angles before surgery) and as a result her school life turned into a nightmare. At the age of 13, bullies started comparing her to big- chinned Family Guy character James William Bottomtooth III
Her entire chin stuck out as a result and by the time she was 13, she said her school life had turned into a nightmare, with bullies also comparing toFamily Guy character James William Bottomtooth III.
Leanne (X-ray of her jaw before surgery) was                    eventually beaten up by cruel bullies because of her                    skull deformity
Leanne (X-ray of her jaw before surgery) was eventually beaten up by cruel bullies because of her skull deformity
Leanne, a sales assistant, said: 'The kids would tease and say "Look there's a real life jaws".
'Even my own friends nicknamed me Jaws - I was the butt of everyone's jokes.
'Classmates would sneer 'bulldog' and one even sniggered that I looked like some guy from Family Guy. 
'I didn't know who it was so I Googled it and was horrified. I felt like a gargoyle.
'One day, at school, I was cornered in the toilets by a girl who punched me the face just for the way I looked.'
She tried to disguise her jaw by wrapping her face up in a scarf, caking herself in make-up and styling her hair differently.
But Leanne still felt like she looked like a monster and would never be normal. 
As the daily abuse took its toll, Leanne began to think she had a deformed face and would avoid having her picture taken and banned her mother, Violet, from putting up any pictures of her in the house.
She added: 'Between the ages of 12 and 18 it was like I didn't existNo matter how much my family told me I was beautiful the way I was, they didn't have to live with it.
'They said I didn't have a deformed face. I was the odd one out and every day I was reminded of it.'
Leanne was desperate to have corrective surgery but was told by her orthodontist her body needed to stop growing before she could qualify. 
Leanne was desperate for corrective surgery but her orthodontist said her body needed to stop growing before she could qualify. She was set to re-mortgage the house to pay for the procedure privately when in March this year, aged 19, Leanne got her wish and was granted double jaw surgery on the NHS
Leanne Woodfull
When Leanne (pictured in recovery) came around, the surgeon told her the operation had been successful, but that a nerve had been damaged and there was a risk that her bottom lip and some of her chin would remain numb forever. Luckily there have been no long-term problems

Leanne Woodfull
Within just five hours Leanne's face had been transformed. Leanne (pictured before surgery, left, and after, right) said: 'When the bandages came off for the first time it was emotional seeing my new face'
But as she got so depressed, she pleaded with her mother to do something because it was ruining her life.
Her family were set to remortgage the house to pay for it privately when in March this year, aged 19, Leanne got her wish and was granted double jaw surgery on the HSE (Health Service Executive, the Irish Health Service).
Leanne continued: 'It was ruining my life. [For me] it was a matter of life or death. I'd never wanted to grow up so quickly.
'I became severely depressed after seeing all the stunning models when I went to London Fashion Week last October.
'I practically hibernated for five months. If I had to go out in public then I would bury my face in a thick scarf to hide my protruding chin.'
Surgeons broke both her jaws and re-set them into the new position, inserting titaniums plates into her mouth and after five hours in surgery, her face was transformed.
Leanne Woodfull
Leanne (pictured after surgery) now feels far more confident about her face. She said: 'My friend said I looked beautiful and I actually felt like a beautiful for the first time in my life'
Leanne said that she is now comfortable in front                    of the camera and hopes to get into television                    presenting one day
Leanne said that she is now comfortable in front of the camera and hopes to get into television presenting one day
Leanne Woodfull
Leanne Woodfull
'My big jaw was ruining my life and I'm just so happy I can finally smile with confidence,' Leanne, from Dublin, said. 'When I look in the mirror I'm relieved to see the 'Jaws' girl I once knew has finally disappeared.'[
When I came around, the surgeon told Leanne the operation had been successful, but said a nerve had been damaged and there was a risk that her bottom lip and some of her chin would remain numb forever.
'At first I was worried that meant I'd be a dribbling mess, but I was willing to deal with it if it meant having a normal face,' Leanne said.'When the bandages came off for the first time it was emotional seeing my new face.'
Luckily Leanne does not suffer any serious nerve-related problems and she said she feels more positive than ever about the future.
I'm now comfortable in front of the camera and am hoping to get into television presenting one day,' she said.
'My friend said I looked beautiful and I actually felt like a beautiful for the first time in my life.'

Mouth Wash




Mouth Wash





 LITTLE JOHNNY

 *Little Johnny was kicked out of his Maths class.***

*The Teacher asked him what comes after **69 ?***

*Apparently, '**mouthwash' was the wrong answer.*

Un-break my dress!



Un-break my dress! An unsuspecting Toni Braxton continues to perform after skirt of her skimpy dress slides down to expose her bare derriere

 
 
 

Un-break my dress! An unsuspecting Toni Braxton continues to perform after skirt of her skimpy dress slides down to expose her bare derriere

PUBLISHED: 13:42 EST, 17 August 2013 | UPDATED: 07:28 EST, 19 August 2013
She was there to perform an array of her hit songs.
But Toni Braxton gave her fans more than they bargained for when she hit the stage in New Brunswick, New Jersey, earlier this week.
Whilst belting out her famous tunes, the skirt of the 45-year-old's skimpy metallic dress fell down only to expose her bare derriere.
 
Un-break my dress! Toni                                              Braxton gave fans more than                                              they bargained for when her                                              dress fell down during a                                              performance in New Jersey                                              earlier this week
Un-break my dress! Toni Braxton gave fans more than they bargained for when her dress fell down during a performance in New Jersey earlier this week
And while the Unbreak My Heart star was wearing a nude bodysuit featuring a g-string cut underneath, the sight left little to the imagination.
An unsuspecting Toni continued to perform, even despite the tell-tale sound of the crowd cheering even louder when she turned around. 
Even a few male fans lucky enough to join her onstage failed to alert Toni of her wardrobe malfunction.
Skimpy: The songstress                                              was wearing a very skimpy                                              glittery dress for the                                              performance
Skimpy: The songstress was wearing a very skimpy glittery dress for the performance
The songstress even danced right alongside one of the men, all whilst continuing to flash her bottom to the crowd.
It was only mid-way through the performance that she finally realised the slip and attempted to pull the skirt up to protect her modesty.
After failing several times to get the attire to stay in place, one man finally offered her his suit jacket which she quickly slid on. 
Unsuspecting: An                                              unsuspecting Toni continued                                              to perform, even despite the                                              tell-tale sound of the crowd                                              cheering even louder when                                              she turned around
Unsuspecting: An unsuspecting Toni continued to perform, even despite the tell-tale sound of the crowd cheering even louder when she turned around
No idea: Even a few                                              male fans lucky enough to                                              join her onstage failed to                                              alert Toni of her wardrobe                                              malfunction
No idea: Even a few male fans lucky enough to join her onstage failed to alert Toni of her wardrobe malfunction
However, she still managed to reveal her bare backside again when she continued to hitch up the skirt whilst chatting to the crowd.
In a second attempt at aiding the songstress, one of Toni's back-up singers approached the star, knelt down and tried to adjust her outfit.
But even her efforts were scotched, and yet another member of Braxton's entourage swooped in to assist.
He must be please! The                                              songstress even danced right                                              alongside one of the men,                                              all whilst continuing to                                              flash her bottom to the                                              crowd
He must be please! The songstress even danced right alongside one of the men, all whilst continuing to flash her bottom to the crowd
Putting on a show:                                              Every time Toni turned                                              around the crowd cheered                                              even louder
Putting on a show: Every time Toni turned around the crowd cheered even louder
After no success at all, Toni finally gave up and whipped the dress completely off to reveal her nude bodysuit underneath.
Meanwhile ,Toni recently lost the copyright to 27 of her favorite songs.
The six-time Grammy Award winner has filed for bankruptcy not once but twice.
The R&B singer was given the opportunity to purchase the copyright of some of her best hits from her music catalog for $20,000 when they were put up for sale on July 15.
Kicking up her heels:                                              Toni was having such a good                                              time she didn't realise the                                              wardrobe disaster
Kicking up her heels: Toni was having such a good time she didn't realise the wardrobe disaster
Finally covering up:                                              After she realised the                                              wardrobe mishap, one kind                                              man gave her his suit jacket
Finally covering up: After she realised the wardrobe mishap, one kind man gave her his suit jacket
But Toni was unsuccessful in her bid to buy back ownership of some of her most famous hits - including You're Making Me High and was outbid by another buyer, TMZ reported last month.
Ross M. Klein doubled the low offer Toni made and now he owns the rights and can profit from hits like How Many Ways and Always.
Toni made a deal with the bankruptcy court to resolve her financial woes which included settling a whopping $150,000 debt in June.
Coming to her aid: One                                              member of her entourage also                                              came to her aid to help                                              adjust the straps of the                                              dress
Coming to her aid: One member of her entourage also came to her aid to help adjust the straps of the dress
But despite her gloomy predicament she still owns the rights to her most famous hit Unbreak My Heart, which was not included in the auction - for now.
The loss of her music still comes as a bitter blow to Toni after a number of financial conflicts with her trustees.
Toni had previously filed for bankruptcy in 1998 for debts of $3.9 million and has legal trouble this year after her debtors tried to claim $754,000 in fees she made for International performances.
Taking it all off:                                              After no success at all,                                              Toni finally gave up and                                              whipped the dress completely                                              off to reveal her nude                                              bodysuit underneath
Taking it all off: After no success at all, Toni finally gave up and whipped the dress completely off to reveal her nude bodysuit underneath
The show must go on:                                              Ever the professional, Toni                                              continued to perform
The show must go on: Ever the professional, Toni continued to perform
The singer and her trustee finally came to an agreement last month and agreed to pay the $50,000 she owed for the property and $100,000 from the performances.
She recently finalized her divorce from husband of 12 years, Keri Lewis.
The split was amicable, Lewis is the father of her two sons, Denim, 11, and Diezel, 10 and they share custody of the children.
Fully clothes: Toni                                              poses at the Heart Truth                                              2013 Fashion Show in New                                              York earlier this year
Fully clothes: Toni poses at the Heart Truth 2013 Fashion Show in New York earlier this year



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The Pussykatz



The Pussykatz



"MANET'S OLYMPIA                                  REIMAGINED" - An Original Pastel by                                  VICTORIA FONTAINE-WOLF
 


A Satisfying Confusion

A recently young widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the best ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"


Jet Fuel



 Jet Fuel



 

Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia.

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the
 hangar with nothing to do.

Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!'
  

Shane  says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and
 get a  buzz. You  wanna try it?'  

So  they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze,
 get completely smashed, and have a great evening.  

The  next morning Phil wakes up and is surprised at how good he
 feels. In fact he feels GREAT!
 
NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It's Shane. Shane says, 'Hey, how are you
 this morning?'

Phil says, 'I feel great, how about you?'

Shane, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a  hangover?'
  

Phil says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing.
 We ought to do this more often. In fact I'm going to be having only jet fuel from now on'

Shane,'Yeah, well... there is just one thing.'
  

'What's that?'

'Have you farted yet?'

'No.'

'Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in New Zealand'
 






Everything's Under Control This Morning



Everything's Under Control This Morning

 

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We are beginning this fine day with our current complement of lunatics and nitwits running key agencies of various national governments  All world leaders are extremely confident that the planet will continue to survive for the next 24 to 36 hours.

Our psycho-squirrel wishes to start the day on the right foot with this message:
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And all personnel have been notified of the effects of RedBull in your morning coffee, so we hope people will not begin the day with an energy deficit
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Okay, now on the count of three, run into the streets and make believe you don't know a single soul, with the exception of LipWide, our pilot (below).  You are free to ignore him if you are so inclinded

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