If the 'once unique' moves and grinds you made in bed have now turned into 'predictable stuff' for your woman, you better know that you are nearing the point where sex is just a chore and brushing up your tactics is the need of the hour.
Its important to understand that 'mystery' holds its own charm between the sheets, but once things are foreseeable, boredom is bound to seep it. So what do you do now?
Well, its time to reel back the excitement by reigniting her curiosity with some unique ways to initiate sex. Rather than asking her, why not lure her into a steamy session?
Let non-verbal cues take charge of initiating sex in some more surprising ways and you never know what surprises you are offered in return:
Cook up to a steamy night
There's no better turn-on for a man than the sight of her man trying on his culinary skills only to impress her. So, use your kitchenette to the best of your use. Not only you'll be required to make her favourite dishes, but feeding her yourself will only make it better.
All the while she's eating, brush up behind her, caress her and keep planting some kisses.
By the time you guys are through with a sumptuous meal, you might just get rewarded with a quickie there on the kitchen counter!
Movie date?
Not at the theatre this time! Prepare for a movie slumber night in your living room instead. Get things in place. Rent a few romantic and sexy flicks, make her favourite snacks and get some wine. Since, creating the ambience for a sleepover is what we aim at, arranging for a cozy blanket and a few pillows won't be a bad idea.
Dress up in your comfy night wear and snuggle up to watch the movie. As the movie runs, start playing with her. Begin with some non-sensual touches and let the magic of sexy scenes take over to make the temperatures soar high. And soon she'll be begging you for some real action.
Love games, anyone?
If you loved to play board games as kids, playing them now will be all the more exciting for you! We are talking about the adult versions here, where the dress code can be anything from a sassy lingerie to a cool underwear. How about a round of strip poker?
While the options available are unlimited, fun and excitement depends upon how sportingly you take every rule of the game. Be it removing a piece of clothing every time you lose, or kissing the area that the winner demands .. you have to say yes to all!
Tattoo your love
Take it as your chance to put forth your creative skills. Temporary tattoo inks and body paints are easily available in the market. So, become a tattoo artist for her and let her paint you in return.
The best bet in this session would be a chance to make a favourite motif on your favourite body part of your partner. And if that demands some skin show and a few touches here and there on that n*ked canvass .. that would just be a mood builder for a steamy night ahead.
Nothing sexier than a shower
Yes, there's nothing more refreshing than a shower at the end of a tiring day. Add to it your beloved and you bet there can't be anything sexier than that.
Begin with a smooth soapy session, followed by some rubbing around her curves... Once through, offer to massage her favourite body lotion to help her relax as you play with sensual movements to leave her begging to be taken to bed.
The basic idea it to excite her with subtle hints of the final reward, without asking her to give what you want. Don't focus on the main act rather arouse her to a pitch where she is ready to melt in your arms.
The lights are low. A fire smolders in the fireplace. Two wineglasses sit, half empty, on the nightstand. Your clothes lie in a heap on the floor. You reach for each other. The two of you tumble to the bed, and then...
Blah.
No explosions of passion. No breathy proclamations of desire. No tumultuous climax. To put it bluntly, the sex just isn't that good.
And then you wonder: How can everyone in movies and romance novels be having fiery, combustible sex, when you and your partner can barely create a spark?
"TV shows and movies give us this very skewed representation of what sex is supposed to be like," says Logan Levkoff, PhD, a sexologist, relationship expert, and author of the ebook How To Get Your Wife to Have Sex With You. "Everyone seems to be climaxing and having climaxs all the time from whatever they're doing, and I think when you grow up on a diet of that, when your real life doesn't match, you think, 'There's something wrong with me,' or, 'There's something wrong with my partner.'"
Real-life sex can almost never measure up to the passion portrayed on the screen, says Isadora Alman, MFT, a California-based sex therapist. "People don't talk about the fact that it's likely that in an odd position you'll pass gas, or the love of your life will take you in his arms and have bad breath."
Sex in the real world isn't perfect, and it doesn't always end with an earth-shattering climax -- but it doesn't have to, Levkoff says. "Good sex doesn't necessarily have to be about an climax. It can just be an emotionally fulfilling experience between partners."
No matter how blah your sex life may be, it can get better. The key, say our experts, is to know exactly what you want -- and then ask for it.
Getting What You Want in Bed
You like long early plays sessions. Your partner is ready to go in an instant. You long for sensual kisses. He prefers dry, chaste pecks. Your partner needs sex twice a day. You can't handle it more than three times a week.
Even when everything else in the relationship is working, styles aren't always compatible. That's especially true for new couples.
"Sex is not just naturally perfect," Alman says. "There is the energy of a new relationship that is positive -- the excitement and the eagerness and the passion. And the negative is that you bump noses or knees because you just haven't learned how to dance together yet."
Even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom. Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we'd like them to wear, or what we'd like them to cook for dinner, on the topic of sex we tend to get tongue-tied.
"People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex. They're afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, so they don't tell them what they like or don't like," says Rachel Sussman, LCSW, a relationship and family therapist in New York, and author of The Breakup Bible. "You're not going to get it unless you ask for it."
So how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego? "I think it's really in how you bring up the statement," Levkoff says. "'I would love it if we' ... or, 'Could we try this?' ... You don't want to make them feel badly about what they've done or haven't done." You can have that conversation in bed, or at dinner over a glass of wine -- wherever is most comfortable for you.
Before you talk, you need to know exactly what about your sex life bothers you. Is it a question of technique? Personal hygiene? Timing? "Once you know what isn't working for you, there are ways you can suggest that can mitigate those circumstances," Alman says.
For example, if something about your partner's smell is turning you off, suggest taking a bath together before making love. If you crave more early plays , ask for slower segues into sex.
Before you can tell your partner what you want him/her to do in bed, you need to know what you like. "I think especially for women, they've got to explore their own bodies. Get some books. Teach yourself how to climax," Sussman says.
Once you've figured out what you want and shared it with your partner, what if your sex life continues to be dull or unfulfilling? What if it's so bad that it's threatening your relationship?
When It's Just Not Working
After you've tried talking and the sex still isn't working, what then?
"Experiment together," Sussman says. "Learn to get to know each other's bodies." Try some sex aids. Read books with pictures, or watch an educational video together, Alman recommends. Videos in which a voice-over explains what's happening in the scenes.
Sometimes the problem is a physical one, such as early climax. Or it may be that the stress from your job is bleeding over into the bedroom and disrupting your sex life.
In those cases it can help to see a sex therapist. "We unravel why you two are not getting along," Alman says. "And then we try to remedy that."
If you're still unsatisfied, is it ever OK to fake it in bed? Our experts say no.
"If you're faking it, you're doing yourself a disservice because you're not learning what really turns you on," Sussman says. "I think eventually, it takes a toll. Your partner's going to realize that you're disconnected."
Can sex ever be bad enough to consider ending a relationship over? Possibly.
"You might really love somebody and the sex is never going to be better than OK. You have to decide whether that's livable with," Alman says. "The fact is, in many cases you have to either accept that the sex is never going to be mind-blowing ... or you have to leave."
Whenever you're considering a breakup or divorce, you need to weigh every element of the relationship, and not just the sex. "You can't have everything in life," Sussman says. "If you have a wonderful relationship and you love each other and you have kids but the sex isn't great ... maybe you can live with that."
In most cases, though, you shouldn't have to break up or settle for mediocre sex, as long as you're willing to put a little effort into it. Sussman says every couple has the potential to have good sex.
"If you're two emotionally and physically healthy people, you should be able to work with what you've got. Not everybody needs to be hanging off the chandelier," Sussman says. "You can get better. But you have to practice, and you have to be open to discussing it and getting help when you need it."
Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!
1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.
2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!
3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.
4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.
5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.
6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.
7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.
8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.
9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.
10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film,You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!
A new survey has revealed the top 20 tricks women employ to make themselves feel seductive.
A simple spray of favourite perfume comes top of the list for helping women feel sexy.
A new hairdo and a happy smile also rank highly.
Women also hailed settling down into a warm bath, showing off their well-maintained legs and wearing a push-up bra as quick fixes for achieving the "it" factor.
The study commissioned by UK's health and beauty retailer, Superdrug, also revealed that the average woman only feels truly irresistible once a week - usually on a Saturday night.
"This poll clearly indicates that while women know exactly what they have to do in order to feel sexy, they obviously aren't doing it often enough," the Daily Express quoted Sara Wolverson of Superdrug as saying.
"Maintaining a beautiful, polished appearance can take time - something most busy women don't have enough of.
"But with a little bit of effort, such as a splash of scent, a pair of fluttering false lashes and a big smile, ladies can feel confident and incredible," she stated.
The study of 2,000 women found more than half of those polled consider a simple spritz of perfume was all it took to make them feel special.
More than one third said a new hair colour or highlights made them feel sexy.
The poll also revealed that women feel sexier if they spend hours getting ready.
Other contributors to a sexy look include waxing, applying an all-over fake tan and straightening or curling hair, exercising religiously, wearing a tight-fitting top, a short skirt and jewellery.
