What women don't want before sex

Most women have a long list of 'don'ts' that they want their man to know. So, instead of second guessing, just read this list and read her mind the next time you both are getting intimate.

Sloppy music
Music is the clincher as you get set to hit the sack. As you turn down the lights and turn on a little mood music, choose what you are making your gal listen to carefully. What you play may be an indication about
where the night is headed. Avoid anything too girly (Madonna, Avril Lavigne, Miley Cyrus) and do not play music with clear sexual overtones ("Let’s Get It On," "Sexual Healing," "I Wanna Sex You Up").

Turn off the phone
Have you ever answered a call mid-way during sex and lived to regret it? Turn your phone off while getting intimate with your lady love. Interruptions can really put a damper on your sexual tempo, and if it is your mom calling, your girl is probably putting on her jacket and getting ready to leave.

Groping is out
Well, even though you might want to lay your hands on your gal, be recommend you exercise caution. Grabbing her bo*bs, pinching her A*s or ripping open her clothes is a big turn off. Moving randomly from
body part to body part is thoroughly confusing and never gives your girl a chance to get into the mood. Move slowly from one body part to the next -- lightly caressing first, then with increased passion.

Begging
Most women have clearly defined limits, before the date about just how how far she is willing to go, but men can change their minds. At the end of the evening, give her a passionate kiss to sweep her off her feet. This is when she may just reconsider going home with you. If she still isn’t interested and expresses a clear discontent, do not whine or beg. If you beg, you will never get a second chance --ever.

Being in a hurry
Women take a lot of time to feel sexually into the moment. Most women loved being kissed, touched, caressed, and more than two minutes to reach the big O. So take time to focus on her. If you aren’t satisfying her, she could get frustrated (or bored) and call it a night.

Don't keep looking at the watch
It takes time to get a woman going. She needs kissing, touching, caressing, and more than two minutes to reach or*asm. If you have moved past the make-out stage and the clothes are coming off, take time to focus on her. If you aren’t satisfying her needs, your gal may just get frustrated and bored and call it a night.

Sloppy kissing
It doesn’t matter how hot a dude is, if he can’t kiss well, he ain't getting past first base. When you lean in for the first end-of-the-date smooch, remember to control your tongue. Don’t unnecessarily lick her teeth, chin, cheeks, forehead, etc., and try not to stick it down her throat. It's a major turn off for women. Also, ensure you have pleasant breath, bad breath sucks!

Dull conversation
All women dig compliments, but too many “Oh babys” can mar her mood. Going over-the-top with banter is a clear sign that the conversation is fake and forced. Concentrate on being your natural self. If things are really becoming passionate, don’t ask unnecessary questions: “Do you like it when I kiss you?” “Does my hand feel good on your body?” Her responses will tell you if you are impressing her enough.

Keep your hands off when she's not in the mood
Women get turned off by men who can't keep their hands off them. Do not hand her a glass of wine, turn on some music, lower the lights and then stick your hand in her pants. You'll just be regarded as a horny dude!

Asking for permission
Most girls like a man who loves taking charge, so when you ask for permission every step of the way you come across as a weak wimp. Asking her “May I please kiss you?” at the end of a date, or “Are you
OK?” when kissing is a major dampner. Rather analyse the situation; if she's really into it, be a man and take the plunge.

Toons

You Will Never Know

DEDICATED BIOLOGY TEACHER !!

DEDICATED BIOLOGY TEACHER !!

. If we had biology teachers like this when we went to school........., we could have scored high !!!! want to join school again, for a refreshers course ?

LOTTO

The Lottery

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Brandi, You have to meet me halfway on this... You have to buy a ticket." ~-|**|PrettyHtmlEnd|**|-~ end group email -->

And You Thought English Was Easy ??

And You Thought English Was Easy ??

Read all the way to the end..it is very interesting. 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

mily: Verdana; font-size: 11px; padding: 10px 0; } #ac

English Pronunciation Test

 English Pronunciation Test 

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. This is an exercise in English pronunciation and spelling.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud; and remember French itself is so difficult for us to pronounce as the written spelling is very different from the way the word is pronunciated because of so many silent letters.

"Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
My advice is to give up!!!" ~-|**|PrettyHtmlEnd|**|-~ end group email -->