This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries..But, now let us see....
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you ... it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ... you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.
If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Bottom Line: Men die first because they want to.
Sep 29, 2012
Seven Cats
| Teacher: “If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?†Pappu: “Seven Sir†Teacher: “No, Listen Carefully. If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?†Pappu: “Seven†Teacher: “Let Me Put It To You Differently. If I Gave You 2 Apples, And Another 2 Apples And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?†Pappu: “Six.†Teacher: “Good. Now If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2,How Many Will You Have?†Pappu: “Seven!!!†Very Angry Teacher: “Where Do You Get Seven From†Very Angry Pappu: “Because I Already Have One At Home“ |
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Sep 26, 2012
Sep 25, 2012
Anti Masturbation Gadget
Back in the 18th century masturbation was considered a sin by the Christian religion. So, this is is how religion fought with teenage boys, every boy who was in strong religious family had probably worn this during their teen years.
In fact Christianity never changed their rule about masturbation. So if you are a Christian and had happy time with your mini me, then you are a sinner. *fun fact*
In fact Christianity never changed their rule about masturbation. So if you are a Christian and had happy time with your mini me, then you are a sinner. *fun fact*
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How To Behave After Sex
Step 1: Advice for him
You may feel that you have expressed yourself quite enough, perhaps you have expressed yourself a number of times, and feel spent. But it's essential you stay awake for long enough to make her feel loved. You may have to fight the urge to sleep, but remember now it's time for her to unload all over you.
Speed up the process by making encouraging noises and agreeing to everything she says. The Past Master of this was Marlon Brando, who put his incredible success with women down to the pose of propping himself up on his elbow, which made him look interested in whatever the lady had to say- even if he was actually falling asleep.
Step 2: Advice for her
Be aware that he will be exhausted - after all you gave him more love than he could cope with. So try and keep your hopes and dreams for the future to a minimum. And certainly don't expand into more mundane issues, like household chores, work gossip or whatever was on your mind while you were expressing your love.
And if it had been instigated as a way of diffusing an argument or row, it is very important to avoid bringing up the argument again, especially as his defences are now down- and it would be too easy.
Step 3: Advice for both of you
If you've managed to avoid upsetting each other so far, don't ruin everything by marking your partner's performance on a range of factors such as skill, effort, creativity and attendance. Never compare this performance to anyone or anything else. And don't fart loudly, do a victory dance, or leave.
What Women Say and what they Actually Mean
Have the Best One-Night Stand of Your Life
In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
The same old thing. - Nothing.
Nothing. - Everything.
Everything. - My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. - It's just that you're such an asshole.
I don't want to talk about it. - Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.
Can't we just be friends? - There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
I just need some space - ...without you in it
Can you help me with my homework? - If I keep whining, the fool will do it for me.
Do I look fat in this dress? - We haven't had a fight in a while
No, pizza's fine - Cheap bastard
I just do not want a boyfriend now - I just do not want (you as a) boyfriend
I don't know; what do you want to do - I can't believe that you have nothing planned
I don't really mind where we eat - ....As long as it's the place I've already decided on
I like you but... - I don't like you
You never listen - You never listen
We're moving too quickly - I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy in Bio has a girlfriend
I'll be ready in a minute - I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.
Oh Yes! Right there - Well, near there; I just want to get this over with
I'm just going out with the girls - We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends
There's no one else - I am doing your brother
Tricking the Nun
Tricking the Nun
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
Sep 17, 2012
Getting Home Late
Got home late last night and my wife
had left a message in the kitchen .....
had left a message in the kitchen .....
I will not be late any more!!!
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Lady Selling Lemonade on the Beach
Lady Selling Lemonade on the Beach (reportedly clearing $1250.00 per day)
The Psychology of business is to "know what your customers want!"
This guy probably does not know what he is drinking, nor does he care... because he is after something more than sugared down lemon juice.
Reportedly for $10-USD a try, you get to see what's there when you finish sucking.
Now, that's marketing.... So who says making money is tough? The jobs are out there!!!
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