Hollywood Stars - Then & Now

 

Hollywood Stars - Then & Now

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Cigarettes

 

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Some Toons for Matured people

 

Google Maps

 

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Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away. 

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you 

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him. 

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. 

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

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'Friendly' Notes

 

Why women indulge in risky sex?

According to a recent study, exposure to violence makes women prone to risky sex. Experts tell. Lisa Antao this holds true for Indian women too.

Ever wondered what prompts some women to indulge in risky sex? The reason cannot be attributed to their sexual liberation or their loose morals, as some people might accuse them of. A recent study that throws light on this subject matter says that women who have witnessed crimes and forms of violence both in their childhood and adulthood are more prone to risky sex. Also, women who had been abused were more likely to indulge in unprotected sex and use alcohol before having sex.

But what is the definition of risky sex, you may ask. Everybody has their own ideas and opinions of what is sexy. What some consider as 'Interesting' may seem distasteful to others. Sexual practices that put one at risk for HIV, Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancies, is what the study refers to as "risky sex". The study was conducted primarily among African-American women out of which most were at a socio-economically disadvantage. BT asked experts if the study holds true for Indian women too.

Common among young and old
Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr Anjali Chhabria who agrees with the findings of the study, says, "In my 20 years of practice, I have come across a lot of women who indulge in risky sexual behaviour. And if you take a detailed history you find emotional abuse, physical violence, sexual abuse — commonly incest — in the past. This study also holds true in the Indian context where sexuality may not be discussed openly but that does not mean it does not happen. This happens everywhere, in all levels of society and is common in teenagers as well as 50-year-olds."

Agrees consultant psychiatrist Dr Milan Balakrishnan and says that this is true of Indian society as well, with those who have been exposed to violence especially childhood sexual abuse, making them prone to not only externalising behaviours (namely high risk sexual behavior and substance dependence) but also to internalising behaviours which include high incidence of depression and anxiety disorders. Also, a greater degree of impulsive behaviour is common among those who are exposed to a difficult childhood which makes them risk takers and leads to more reckless sexual behaviors.

Causes
If you're wondering what are the reasons that prompt this risky behaviour, Dr Chhabria explains that people exposed to violence may get sensitised to violence, so their tolerance increases. They may get used to a certain level of excitement and find regular sex with one partner boring so subconsciously they may look for excitement which includes risky sex along with other risk-taking behaviours. Also, they may have suppressed their early experiences resulting in anger again at a subconscious level which is repressed and finds expression as risky behaviour. Revenge against the opposite sex by luring and attracting them and indulging in risky sex is commonly seen.

Coping
Preventing domestic violence and intolerance to violence against women is the most important step in preventing such problems. Educating adolescents about the problems associated with high risk sexual practices like STDs and unwanted pregnancies, and promoting safe sex should be undertaken. Such women's impulsive behaviour can be controlled with the help of techniques like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), combines behavioural therapy with the principles of Zen meditation. Also, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) can help deal with depression and anxiety problems. These individuals who have been exposed to violence see the world as either very good (white) or very bad (black), and therapy helps them see the shades of grey

Bra with gun holster for women’s defence

Thanks to an ingenious design by a law enforcement supplier from Oklahoma, a bra fitted with a gun holster is now on sale.

The Flashbang bra is attached with a thermoplastic shell that is able to store one of more than 20 hand gun styles already on the market.

Lisa Looper, owner of Looper Law Enforcement which is a company that produces "concealed carry gear", came up with the design to give her the ability to defend herself "at a moment's notice".

The bra offers a modern-day take on traditional female self-defense systems such as the garter belt holster made popular in American old western films of the early forties.

"I really never intended to create a holster line, that was never something that I wanted to do. I just did this for myself but as I was talking to other women, they were like "oh my gosh, this is great, I have the same problem", ", Looper was quoted as saying.

"It was kind of like, where can I put this thing so it won't show", she said.

She found that a woman's bra was the most logical place to place a gun, where women can simply yank at a handle on the holster to release the weapon.

"Women have this natural little overhang here and it's a great spot to tuck a gun", she said.

The garment's slogan reads "Nothing comes between a girl and her gun".

"You can't get to the phone and call 911 all the time, you know you need to be able to defend yourself", Looper said.

It is said that the average time it takes to draw the gun from the bra, which retails for 40 dollars online, and fire the gun is 1.5seconds.

An eBay account that is selling the design comes with further details.

"Statistics show that most gunfights last about 2.5 seconds, there are multiple attackers over 80 per cent of the time, and the fight will be in extreme close quarters, usually within touching distance," it said.

"You need the ability to draw and fire as soon as possible without alerting the suspect to your intentions until they receive your gun fire.

"Weapon retention is paramount, meaning purse carry is rarely a viable solution", the eBay account added.

For the fashion-conscious, the bra comes in a range of colours, including hot pink, n*de and black, as well as sizes.

Bed

 

5 Signs she wants sex

Focus on what she's not telling you in bed by reading her body language

It's a universally accepted fact that women are complicated, confusing beings who, in spite of talking incessantly, rely a lot on non-verbal communication to convey their inner-most thoughts. So it's left to you to unravel the mystery of their look, sigh or grump.

Since they manage to take the same trait into the bedroom and you might find yourself befuddled at her reactions, wondering if she's rubbing up against you out of extreme desire or as a distraction tactic to get you to stop doing what you're doing. We help you decode her subtle body language in bed, so you're abreast of whether you're doing it right or need to up your ante. If you manage to read your cues right, you'll be suitable rewarded and her body will display overall signs of arousal that can't be faked. Here are a few:

In her arms

If instead of holding you, her arms are held close to her body, there might be a little something going on, you should take note of. In some positions she might need her arms to support her weight, but in most cases, if she's consciously holding her arms close, she is clearly not letting go with wild abandon. She shouldn't want to be covering herself up. If however, they're above your or her head, on your chest, splayed out on the sheets or held out on either side, it's her way of telling you, she's comfortable with where she is and there's no need to hold back.

Breathing heavy
This is usually a dead give away and impossible to mask or fake. As the body is excited and turned on, the breath becomes more urgent and rapid. Involuntary moans are made as air rapidly makes its way through her vocal chords. The heart rate increases as the body prepares for an or*asm, making her internal organs demand more oxygen. A thumping heart rate and urgent breathing should let you know that you're on the right track. However, if immediately after a big or*asm, she's back to a slow restful pace of breath, you just witnessed a big show.

Writhing heights
When a body enthusiastically responds to another, it urges for proximity. If she's grinding or pushing herself against you, trying to hold or hug you, her body language is as inviting as it gets. Curling toes are another good indicator, but try to catch a glance offhand. If the motion is subconscious, it's probably genuine. If however, she's lying there waiting for you to do all the hard work, there's probably a little that's happening in terms of arousal for her. You need to regroup and restart. Try changing positions or focus on her erogenous zones to get her attention.

Hip action
A little known secret about good sex is that it's tremendously synchronized. The way the bodies were designed, they were meant to move repeatedly in the same motion until both achieved a climax. So if you find her matching your moves, you've hit the right notes and just need to make it to the finish line. Sometimes it takes a little time to get in sync but if you don't see it happening, chances are that her body is telling you it wants something else, another position perhaps. Wait for her to respond with the same intensity.

In the deep
Once you are in the zone and aiming for the finish, given the sensitivity of organs involved, you should be able to feel her strong internal muscles act against yours. With spasms and some amount of clenching, you'll get a good idea of how well you're doing. However, don't use it as a benchmark since not all women have the same amount of control over their kegel muscles. Some amount of contraction and relaxation that you may feel could be for her own pleasure, but pay close attention to what her overall intensity is telling you.

What works for one woman may never work for another but the idea is to be attuned to the feedback her body language is giving you. If you feel like you're not in sync, pause and try something new. Avoid sticking to a routine or becoming predictable. Spice things up with experimentation, teasing and tantalizing your partner and keep an eye out for fake moans and forced emotions.

Images: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images

How to maintain a healthy sex drive

Let's face it, modern life isn't too friendly to the human libido. Contemporary challenges to a healthy sex drive are many: 

Obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid dysfunction, adrenal exhaustion, poor nutrition, prescription medications, hormonal birth control, too much stress and too little sleep. Many factors determine a healthy sex drive and today we're looking at what determines a healthy sex drive and how to maintain it. 

Factors that determine a healthy sex drive 
Sex hormones – For women both estrogen and testosterone at healthy levels are very vital in maintaining libido as well as fertility. In men too, testosterone is vital. Men with clinically defined low libido are often diagnosed with low testosterone. Diabetes and obesity can also contribute to low testosterone by impairing its production. Other hormones – Prolactin decreases libido in both sexes. Prolactin is elevated during breast feeding. 

Here are some simple practices to maintain a healthy sex drive. 
1. Diet – Some foods (no we're not talking about 'aphrodisiacs' here) contain nutrients and compounds that promote various elements of successful sexual functioning. Fish and nuts offer a healthy dose of fatty acids, which foster hormonal balance and help thin the blood. But more important is consuming a nutrient dense diet high in antioxidants and minerals generous in good fats. 

2. Exercise – Exercise is the smartest thing you can do for your libido. The advantages are endless – The boost of self-confidence, the surge in endorphins, the increased blood flow, the hormonal advantages like the boost in testosterone...The flip side is that too much exercise can result in exhaustion and once again the hormonal balance gets distorted. 

Stress – Short-term effects of stress are the irritability, the bad moods etc. but the long-term effects of chronic stress results once again in hormonal imbalances. Cortisol levels also play a role in arousal and sexual health. 

Age – This one depends on our attitude and our efforts to live a healthy lifestyle. Like everything else sexual drive is governed by our efforts to ensure that we eat well and excercise. If you have remained strong and healthy without any preset notions about how age affects sexual health, chances are your sex drive will remain at respectable levels with age too. 

Finally if you're sure that you're eating right, exercising well and are in the right frame of mind but still suffering from a lack of libido, consulting a doctor may be a good idea. But most of us are guilty of not giving ourselves a fair chance due to poor food habits and an unhealthy lifestyle. So try out these tips for a healthy sex drive, and who knows - maybe they'll do the trick in no time! 


By Aloka Mehta Gambhir

Having sex more often ruins your marriage

Think having sex with your partner would improve you married life? Well, you may want to reconsider that idea after reading this. 

Rosie, who tried indulging in sex for a complete month, every day, found herself unhappy for the first time in eight-year relationship, reports the Daily Mail . 

Being a journalist, she experimented to have sex every day for a month and keep a daily diary of the results. 

She heard of people claiming that having sex every day brings a couple closer, induces new levels of intimacy and rejuvenates sex lives. But it rather had an adverse effect as it ultimately destroyed her relationship. 

In the course of having sex for 30-days, just three days in, it became obvious it was going to be more challenging than she imagined. 

By day four, desire had been usurped by boredom. Actually we flunked it. On the fifth day we managed a desultory fumble and it was only a change of scene on day six that revived us. 

We happened to be staying at my parents' house. Decorum dictates that you do not indulge in frenzied sex when your mum and dad are in the next room. But we had sex simply because it felt a bit naughty. 

At the end of the week, however, we were flagging again. We'd been to a friend's wedding and were staying in a Travelodge. Frankly, the unalluring surroundings would have quenched even the tiniest spark of desire. Once again we failed. 

By day eight the tension was building. Going to bed each night was no longer a relaxing experience, but something to be dreaded because they both knew what was expected of them. 

With time, sex became mechanical, passionless and irksome. 

And when the 30 days ended-having replaced several required steamy encounters with nights sitting side-by-side in bed, simmering with resentment-their arguments continued. 

Sex, once a shared joy, had become about as appealing as squeezing lemon juice into a finger cut. And now we weren't compelled to do it for the experiment, it wasn't even happening spontaneously. 

In short, the compulsion had killed intimacy stone dead. Now that there was no physical closeness to patch over the cracks when we had a row, the fractures in our relationship grew into a chasm. 

"You've always known I want ­children. And we've both conceded we had such a good relationship it would be hard to end it because you don't. But as we've been arguing so much lately, now seems the right time to split up," her partner said. 

The silly but well-intentioned experiment designed to bring them closer had actually driven the couple apart. 

She said that it seems the most important thing is to have enough sex to make you and your partner happy, not an arbitrary amount dictated by scientific experiments.

Image Source: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images

Reply

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

 

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

 

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,

J.P. Morgan CEO

 

*There has been no concrete proof on whether or not this indeed took place…. but it's a nice story nevertheless.

My Bike

My Bike

 

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. 

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." 

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." 

The Priest is pleased with the response. 

They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." 

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." 

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. 

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike." 

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.. 

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? 

The chief replied, "My bike."

_

Gone Blind

 

Why single women, married men can't mix

When it comes to friendships, single women prefer not to be friends with married men...

Ishani is a 35 year old working woman and has several married men at work asking her out for coffee, inviting her to watch a movie or even offering a "no strings attached" relationship if she is willing to take the offer. There are several other women like Ishani who face these advances from married men not only at work but also outside work. She says, "I had so many male friends earlier who got married. Now it is difficult to maintain the same friendship with them because every time I ask them out for coffee or just sharing a conversation the way they used to before, I have to think twice because her spouse would not appreciate that. Secondly, today men are also wanting a way out from the daily humdrum of life and so seek single women companions to share their everyday problems and in the process get involved."

Shashank Rathod, a 40 year old businessman says that it is not always about trying to have a sexual relationship with a single woman. He says, "It never starts off that way. Initially, it's just friendship but then regular meetings and finding solace in each other's company sometimes leads to sex. You watch movies, go out for coffee and take care of each other as friends initially but then the attraction increases and then you end up having a relationship."

Married men are often accused of generally making advances at single women under the excuse that they don't get any emotional support from their wives and when it comes to freedom and enjoying life, it's better done with friends than their wives. Wives are also sometimes aware of this special 'friend' her husband has and generally keeps quiet about it.

Kruti Shah, a sociology professor feels that married men want 'variety' in life and they seek such single women friends because they also want to enlighten up their bedroom life. They want to experiment sexually and having sex with just one partner is something that men don't really understand. She says, "There are married men everywhere looking for opportunity. There are few who will draw a line between friendship and attraction. Also, even if they want you as just a 'friend' they are not willing to go out with you for coffee in public places, only talk on sms, talk late in the night when their wives are asleep, and meet only at home when there is no one around. They can never share a friendship that's normal because most of the time they fear their wives will misunderstand them. So it's no point being friends with a married man."

Mostly, married men are asking their single friends out for dinner or a movie when their wife goes to her mom's place on a holiday or are expecting a baby. This is the time when they are bored at home alone and looking for some adventure with their single women friends. Says Dr Ashish Trivedi, "Single women should be aware of such selfish married men because they are plenty. But having said that there are genuine friendships happening but very few. You generally can't trust a married man much, asking you out for coffees and movies regularly without his wife being there."

So then, when it is already difficult for single women to find a social life, she has to cut off from her good male pals also when they get married. Ishani says, "It is sad but it is better to find single men friends then be friends with some married guy who is forever thinking of his wife's reaction to the friendship or wanting to make indecent proposals later."

By Tanvi Trivedi

Some Toons For Matured People II

 

Why women indulge in risky sex?

According to a recent study, exposure to violence makes women prone to risky sex. Experts tell. Lisa Antao this holds true for Indian women too.

Ever wondered what prompts some women to indulge in risky sex? The reason cannot be attributed to their sexual liberation or their loose morals, as some people might accuse them of. A recent study that throws light on this subject matter says that women who have witnessed crimes and forms of violence both in their childhood and adulthood are more prone to risky sex. Also, women who had been abused were more likely to indulge in unprotected sex and use alcohol before having sex.

But what is the definition of risky sex, you may ask. Everybody has their own ideas and opinions of what is sexy. What some consider as 'Interesting' may seem distasteful to others. Sexual practices that put one at risk for HIV, Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancies, is what the study refers to as "risky sex". The study was conducted primarily among African-American women out of which most were at a socio-economically disadvantage. BT asked experts if the study holds true for Indian women too.

Common among young and old
Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr Anjali Chhabria who agrees with the findings of the study, says, "In my 20 years of practice, I have come across a lot of women who indulge in risky sexual behaviour. And if you take a detailed history you find emotional abuse, physical violence, sexual abuse — commonly incest — in the past. This study also holds true in the Indian context where sexuality may not be discussed openly but that does not mean it does not happen. This happens everywhere, in all levels of society and is common in teenagers as well as 50-year-olds."

Agrees consultant psychiatrist Dr Milan Balakrishnan and says that this is true of Indian society as well, with those who have been exposed to violence especially childhood sexual abuse, making them prone to not only externalising behaviours (namely high risk sexual behavior and substance dependence) but also to internalising behaviours which include high incidence of depression and anxiety disorders. Also, a greater degree of impulsive behaviour is common among those who are exposed to a difficult childhood which makes them risk takers and leads to more reckless sexual behaviors.

Causes
If you're wondering what are the reasons that prompt this risky behaviour, Dr Chhabria explains that people exposed to violence may get sensitised to violence, so their tolerance increases. They may get used to a certain level of excitement and find regular sex with one partner boring so subconsciously they may look for excitement which includes risky sex along with other risk-taking behaviours. Also, they may have suppressed their early experiences resulting in anger again at a subconscious level which is repressed and finds expression as risky behaviour. Revenge against the opposite sex by luring and attracting them and indulging in risky sex is commonly seen.

Coping
Preventing domestic violence and intolerance to violence against women is the most important step in preventing such problems. Educating adolescents about the problems associated with high risk sexual practices like STDs and unwanted pregnancies, and promoting safe sex should be undertaken. Such women's impulsive behaviour can be controlled with the help of techniques like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), combines behavioural therapy with the principles of Zen meditation. Also, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) can help deal with depression and anxiety problems. These individuals who have been exposed to violence see the world as either very good (white) or very bad (black), and therapy helps them see the shades of grey

Why a man says no to sex

Men were advised to stay away from women during the Transit of Venus as happened this morning. Staying away here, very obviously, being a euphemism for not getting busy between the sheets.

So, you have heard too that men only have sex on their mind and are ever willing to do junior's bidding. You also know that, generally, men don't feign headache when it comes to having a romp. For them this action is, often, what lulls them to sleep and sweet dreams.

For most men, sexual abstinence is not a happy choice; at most, it can only be a compulsion brought on by stress, sickness, and sagging body parts.

Men like to get it up, get on with it, and get done with it till the oats are ready and itching to be sown again. Which is to say, soon after!

But, there are men, who take a sabbatical from sex, and no, this has nothing to do with any physiological reasons. And for these men sex is not a stress buster but something that adds to it. So, while the woman may throw herself at him or send subtle signs his way, he refuses to turn it on. Even if he does not plead headache, it will be some excuse like sleep or not being in the right mood or mental make-up. Whatever happened to this man's default masculine settings?

So, what should we read when a man says no

1. He's not into you... at the moment... he's into someone else... you can take this literally or metaphorically ( J ), depending on your relationship with him.

2. He on an orientation experiment... and is steeling himself to say no to you to do full justice to his experiment.

3. He has realised that straight is not his sexual calling, and this is his way of hoping you'd guess.

4. You don't do it for him anymore.

5. The Poonam Pandeys and Rozlyn Khans have 'exposed' him to another side.

6. He doesn't need anyone but himself to enjoy anymore... that should be an easy one to figure out!

7. Laptops, iPhones, and all that radiation have lowered his appetite for sex.

8. Vicky Donor has spoiled it for him. Those 'little fellows' swimming in the bottles have taken the fun out of the act.

9. Time to service the equipment, we say. After all, you can't take junior for granted, and not make any allowances for his occasional dips, troughs and lows! He can't be high and hard every time, can he?

10. If the man's been on a sexual binge of late, maybe this is his way of telling himself to slow down lest the peaks give way to plateaus. He'd like his performances to always peak. Going out on a limp is not his scene!

By Purba Dutt, TNN
Image Source: Thinkstock Photos

Why sex is a big issue for women

Dr Suman Bijlani lists women's common sexual concerns and what they mean for men

Wonder why your wife/girlfriend seems "off sex" of late? Why does she complain of a headache just when you are in the mood? Fact is, as with men, sex is a big issue for women too. Only, due to conditioning or lack of awareness, most women don't articulate them.

Generally, women realise they have sexual problems only when:
» It affects their relationship
» Their partner starts complaining
» When they are depressed
» When they themselves get involved in an extra-marital affair.

Also, the nature of problems differs slightly with age.

Younger women:
Sexual problems relate more to body image issues and 'performance anxiety'. Especially if they feel sex is the only way they can hold on to their relationship.

Older women:
Sex boils down to a chore or duty after years of marriage/relationship. It then manifests in pains, aches, lack of or*asm and other physical symptoms.

The bottomline:
Don't blame your dull sex life on her PMS or mood swings. Gynaecologist Dr Suman Bijlani of Gyneguide tells you how to read between the lines.

Problem: Lack of interest
Message: for*play continues throughout the day
A woman wants her man to make her feel special throughout the day. This sets up her mood for the special night. In a marriage, being interested in the house or taking care of the children is important. Conflicts with kids affects her relationship with her husband.
Hence make that special effort to show you care - through messages, gifts, a special outing etc.

Problem: Poor body image
Message: I want to feel beautiful when I'm with you
A woman might shy away from intercourse due to poor body image - a result of low self-esteem. If her partner nags her about her lack of perfection, it can affect her sexual confidence. It's foolhardy to say things like 'your hips are too wide' or 'breasts are too small' and later expect her to perform in bed. For a woman, the only solution is to work on herself as a person. Men get attracted by a woman's confidence.

Problem: Faking it
Message: or*asm isn't everything
Men tend to focus only on or*asm, but often for a woman, great for*play is enough. Hence, ensure she is happy with the quality of sex. If she fakes an or*asm, it means she isn't satisfied and doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Such a behaviour points to chinks in the relationship, hence work on them first.

Problem: Frequency issues
Message: I am no sex machine
Some men want sex every day, but with women, many other factors need to be in place. There is no ideal time or frequency for sex,but if the frequency of desire is very disparate, seek help. If a woman is stressed or has resentments towards her man, it reflects in lack of interest in sex.

Problem: Pain during sex
Message: Be considerate in bed
A common problem, painful intercourse can result from vaginal infection or if the partner is very aggressive. Pain is of two types. Superficial pain: which occurs at the time of insertion. Or deep pain: that's usually pathological or due to endometriosis or infections. This needs to be taken seriously. Using a lubricant or increasing for*play can help.

Problem: Body odour
Message: Please be pleasant
Both men and women can suffer from fungal infections, tinea infection and similar problems that lead to body odour. To stimulate a woman's interest in sex, it is essential that the man maintains a pleasant personality and smells good as well. Taking the point further, he should make an effort to look good for his woman. It leads to a better response in bed.

Problem: Fear of pregnancy
Message: Take care of protection
It's often the fear of pregnancy that makes women shy away from sex. For good sex, it's important for both partners to be equally aware and responsible for contraception.