Apr 30, 2012
Cat Dictionary
Cat Dictionary
-- Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
-- Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
-- Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
-- Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
-- Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
-- Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
-- Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
-- Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
-- Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
-- Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
-- Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
-- Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
-- Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Apr 28, 2012
Adult Fun
Sometimes erections happen at the wrong time
how a gud quality camera lens can capture inside ur pants
atleast she warned
is that really trophy?
how rumors strart in office
unconformtable
what r they doing
how a gud quality camera lens can capture inside ur pants
atleast she warned
is that really trophy?
how rumors strart in office
unconformtable
what r they doing
22 Things
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
[5] A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
[8] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[11] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
[13] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[16] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[17] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
[5] A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
[8] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[11] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
[13] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[16] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[17] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come
What Women love To See In A Man
Well groomed
Yes, we said tall but the reality is that height is really not as important a factor as how you present yourself. Just like guys like a women who is well turned out, women too dig guys who ensure that they are perfectly groomed a la Leonardo DiCaprio. The basic funda women believe in is that if you are careful enough to take care of yourself, they can trust you to take care of them. So, remember guys, sloppy dressing, uncombed hair, dirty nails, smelly socks, stained shirts or jeans and the likes are an absolute no-no when you are trying to make that all important impression on someone from the opposite sex.
A sense of style
Women would rather have you splurging on them than on obscenely priced designer wear. So, even if it’s a typical roadside purchase that you swear by, make sure you adopt a certain classy and stylised look and maintain it. Women don’t really expect you to be a picture copy of a Pierce Brosnan or a David Beckham, but trying to imitate their style will surely up your popularity quotient. Keep yourself updated on the latest trends. Also, just as you have your reservations against the ‘nun-type’ dressers, women too hesitate when it comes to the boring office type dresser.
Laugh it out
One of the most important trait that woman dig is a sense of humour. Women have more than enough problems to deal with and don’t really need the company of another equally depressed soul. Yes, you have your bad days, but it does go a long way if you have a good sense of humour, and clean humour at that. Beware, taking a dig at others and constantly putting others down do not really spell fun for women. And we can’t tell you enough how much women love people who can laugh at themselves and their own mistakes.
Show them you care
Women need to be constantly reassured that they are loved and cared for. Acts like holding their hand while walking down the road, watching the sunset, an occasional hug and peck on the cheeks and making sure that they cross the road safely mean that you are proud to be seen with them and care for them. Remember, not displaying your affection openly is a sign that you are ashamed of who you are with. However, beware of being crass while displaying you affections.
A sexy smile/wink
There’s a reason why women absolutely adore Richard Gere or Hugh Jackman and it has a lot to do with the way that they smile or that glint in their eyes. Believe us when we tell you that if you look at them and smile like that, it does make them feel very special, like they are one in a million.
Be calm
Woman are known to be harrowed and frenzied. Yes, they do tend to get hyper very easily and that is the precise reason why you need to be the calming factor in their lives. It really doesn’t help if you too get stressed out or fly off the handle at any and every incident. Your sex appeal lies as much in your looks as it does in your attitude – women dig guys with a cool and peaceful attitude, the one who is able to calm them down and reassure them that all is well.
Switch on the television for better sex
While many advocate staying away from the television set for a better social life, don't believe everything you hear. There are ways in which the no-so-idiot box can enhance your sex life and also play a supporting role in it. We are not necessarily talking about p*rn (Okay, maybe some of that too).
Snuggle cable
If you are getting close to a man or woman, a cute-sy romantic comedy on TV is the best excuse for a comfortable cuddle on the couch. It's more intimate than a movie theatre. Inviting the person you are dating into your home shows you are ready to take the relationship to the next level. "The physical proximity and closeness helps nurture togetherness," says clinical psychologist Varkha Chulani. Cuddling up in front of the TV with a snack in between romps ensures that physical contact remains unbroken.
Spice TV
After years of monogamous mating, the sensuousness of Munni or Sheela on the boob-tube can pepper things up. "The pleasure is definitely vicarious," says Chulani, "but the stimulation is visual and auditory. It feeds sensual cues to our mind and gets the juices flowing." Fantasy is a powerful tool to bring variety into a stagnant and long-standing relationship, safely. With the help of a television programme, you can visualise a scenario and a music channel playing peppy music pumps some energy into your bed.
Breaking news
A few hours in front of the tube can get our brain to think a little differently, and make you try new things in bed. A few new kissing moves picked up from a reality show, fresh pick-up lines and techniques from Barney, courtesy How I met your Mother and some fitness inspiration from all the model anchors. It always helps to upgrade your skills and you can pick them up easily from TV. Not to forget, popping a fitness DVD into the player will help you get in shape in the comfort of your home. And the fitter you get, the more stamina and agility you have in bed and the better you look.
Baby-sitter
Putting on a cartoon or switching the channel to an edutainment show is a low investment and a quick way for a couple to get some privacy. In the Indian family, where the baby-sitter is usually a grandparent, making some "quality time" can be awkward. That's where the box can come to the rescue. "It may not allow you time for a full-blown sexual encounter," says Chulani. "But with the child busy in the TV room, you can definitely indulge in a short spurt of physical affection in the bedroom."
You can touch this
We don't give it enough credit but cable TV has done a lot for normalising physical displays of affection in country that it largely repressed. "It opens our minds to various cultures, a variety of outlooks and can be liberating," says Chulani. Holding hands, kissing and hugging were all actions that drew stares and were taboo but have slowly become acceptable. Physical displays of affection between parents are important for children as they give them a sense of security and encourage them to do the same with their loved ones. They break the narrowminded view of sex and sexuality.
Remote education
Programmed to switch channels when the ad for sanitary napkins or condoms comes on? If you have a teenaged child in the house, it might be a better idea to leave it on and leave the room. Advertisements on HIV, sexually transmitted diseases, condoms and contraceptive pills could be the stepping stones for a conversation on sex education with your children. They pique children's curiosity and open an uncomfortable topic up for discussion. Allowing exposure to such topics also normalises them, telling children that periods are nothing to be ashamed of or that sex is natural. These also alert them about the consequences of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
By MITALI PAREKH
Image Source: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
0% in Exam - Not for Brilliant Guys But Ordinary Guys like us
Apr 23, 2012
Why sex is a big issue for women
Wonder why your wife/girlfriend seems "off sex" of late? Why does she complain of a headache just when you are in the mood? Fact is, as with men, sex is a big issue for women too. Only, due to conditioning or lack of awareness, most women don't articulate them.
Generally, women realise they have sexual problems only when:
» It affects their relationship
» Their partner starts complaining
» When they are depressed
» When they themselves get involved in an extra-marital affair.
Also, the nature of problems differs slightly with age.
Younger women:
Sexual problems relate more to body image issues and 'performance anxiety'. Especially if they feel sex is the only way they can hold on to their relationship.
Older women:
Sex boils down to a chore or duty after years of marriage/relationship. It then manifests in pains, aches, lack of or*asm and other physical symptoms.
The bottomline:
Don't blame your dull sex life on her PMS or mood swings. Gynaecologist Dr Suman Bijlani of Gyneguide tells you how to read between the lines.
Problem: Lack of interest
Message: for*play continues throughout the day
A woman wants her man to make her feel special throughout the day. This sets up her mood for the special night. In a marriage, being interested in the house or taking care of the children is important. Conflicts with kids affects her relationship with her husband.
Hence make that special effort to show you care - through messages, gifts, a special outing etc.
Problem: Poor body image
Message: I want to feel beautiful when I'm with you
A woman might shy away from intercourse due to poor body image - a result of low self-esteem. If her partner nags her about her lack of perfection, it can affect her sexual confidence. It's foolhardy to say things like 'your hips are too wide' or 'breasts are too small' and later expect her to perform in bed. For a woman, the only solution is to work on herself as a person. Men get attracted by a woman's confidence.
Problem: Faking it
Message: or*asm isn't everything
Men tend to focus only on or*asm, but often for a woman, great for*play is enough. Hence, ensure she is happy with the quality of sex. If she fakes an or*asm, it means she isn't satisfied and doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Such a behaviour points to chinks in the relationship, hence work on them first.
Problem: Frequency issues
Message: I am no sex machine
Some men want sex every day, but with women, many other factors need to be in place. There is no ideal time or frequency for sex,but if the frequency of desire is very disparate, seek help. If a woman is stressed or has resentments towards her man, it reflects in lack of interest in sex.
Problem: Pain during sex
Message: Be considerate in bed
A common problem, painful intercourse can result from vaginal infection or if the partner is very aggressive. Pain is of two types. Superficial pain: which occurs at the time of insertion. Or deep pain: that's usually pathological or due to endometriosis or infections. This needs to be taken seriously. Using a lubricant or increasing for*play can help.
Problem: Body odour
Message: Please be pleasant
Both men and women can suffer from fungal infections, tinea infection and similar problems that lead to body odour. To stimulate a woman's interest in sex, it is essential that the man maintains a pleasant personality and smells good as well. Taking the point further, he should make an effort to look good for his woman. It leads to a better response in bed.
Problem: Fear of pregnancy
Message: Take care of protection
It's often the fear of pregnancy that makes women shy away from sex. For good sex, it's important for both partners to be equally aware and responsible for contraception.