GreenGod's Blog: 10/06/11

Oct 6, 2011

Now, Sharia bras... Wonder how far this will go....

This is hilarious......

Sharia Bras

CONGRATULATIONS TO SOME OF OUR SCHOLARS FOR FOCUSING ON A REALLY IMPORTANT PROBLEM FACING OUR UMMAH.

"Padded Bras are Devil's Cushions" says Council of Islamic Ideology

Lahore - The Council of Islamic Ideology met last night as scheduled in light of the protests held last month by JUI and other religious parties against the increasing import and eventual use of padded and colorful bras. The Council also invited shop owners who were in the business of importing and selling female underwear. The Council advised the shop owners to bring lingerie samples, so that the council could see about what the protesters were angry.

Last month the protesters gathered outside an outlet inside Park Towers and occupied the entire floor and chanted slogans against padded bras. They asked the government to put a ban on the import and sale of padded, vibrant, colorful bras and demanded legislation that would outlaw the purchase of any underwear that is not white or beige colored.

"Padded bras are evil as they make the breasts look bigger and perky", said one of the protesters. "Only devil women show off private parts. Muslim women should be as humble about them as they can. In fact they should be ashamed of their breasts, both of them." Another protester said that the purpose of underwear is not to accentuate the curves. " ...especially of a woman's body the breast should not look like they belong to a non-virgin even if she happens to be married." he added.

"Those lacy bras? They are an abomination! Do you even know how they're made? They're made in China by underfed and underpaid children. That's how they're made." said a placard that was held by a protester. They chanted slogans as the Mall security stood and watched helplessly while three female customers and two employees locked themselves inside the store. The third employee of the store who was on a break before the protest began, joined the protesters and was cheered up on by the crowd after she announced, "I will not wear these sinful, men-attracting padded bras that make my jugs look juicy." She then ripped out her bra and threw it on the ground where the protesters stomped on it repeatedly. She was later thrown a burka by someone in the crowd.

After the meeting of the Council was over, the recommendation was released to the media that says, "Padded bras are Devil's cushions and he likes to rest of them. The Council of Islamic Ideology is recommending that Pakistani Muslim researchers should try to invent a bra that makes the female chest area unnoticeable."

Zakir Naik, one of the leading Islamic scholars commented on the situation that if the Pakistani government approves of the funding grant for this research and if Pakistan is successful at making such a bra that makes the chest of women unnoticeable, Pakistan might become the biggest exporter for Shariah compliant underwear.

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NikhiL Saluja

Under A Tree

NikhiL Saluja

For Old Retired Friends

FOR OLD RETIRED FRIENDS

TO ALL OLD BUDDIES OF MINE WHO ARE RETIRED

Here's how get more bang for the buck:

Recycle Service Veterans!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.

You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds

per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'

We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave,

to start a conversation with a pretty girl.

He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old guys with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know their best years are already behind them.

HEY! How about recruiting Women over 50.. in menopause!

You think MEN have attitudes?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!

If nothing else, put them on border patrol.

They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends ...

it's in big type so they can read it.