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Apr 25, 2011

Marvels of Physics


This was a question in a physics degree exam at the University of
Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student
was failed immediately.

The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably 
correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.

The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the
problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer that showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought.

The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper,drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground.

The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H =
0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a
short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l/g)."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be
easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him, 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

(The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for
Physics)
 

A Letter From A Bollywood Fan


A letter from a Bollywood Fan:

Johnny Mera Naam
Piya Ka Ghar
Choukee No. 11
Teesri Manzil
China Town
Bombay

Date: Nav Do Gyarah

My Dear 'Anamika':

You must be surprised to receive this 'Prem Patra' from me. Let me make my 'Pahechan' to you as 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge'. Though I am an 'Awaara', I am also your 'Deewana'.

I am making you a 'Prarthna' to enter my 'Zindagi' as a 'Priyatama'. Even though I do not have any 'Sambandh' with you, I still consider you as my 'Dream Girl' with 'Lal Dupatta Malmal Ka'. There are only 'Do Raaste' left for me. One is to get your love by 'Tyag' or to go the 'Rangeela' way.

Wouldn't you like to be 'Mere Jeevan Saathi' as you are 'Lakhon Mein Ek'? I also hope that you will 'Guide' me in 'Bahar' as we are made for 'Ek Duje Ke Liye'.

We will live in 'Naya Zamana' where we will have a 'Suhana Safar'. In this 'Himalay Ki God Mein', our 'Bandhan' is going to be tied with 'Preet Ki Dor'. I hope that we will have nothing but 'Anand' in 'Ye Dillagi'.

Aren't you bored of 'Akele Hum Akele Tum' life? Let this 'Baazigar' be your 'Boy Friend' and we start 'Pehli Mohabbat'. This 'Chahat' is going to lead to a 'Milan' where you are going to call me everyday for 'Aao Pyar Karen'.

Now, 'Phir Kab Miloge' as 'Tumse Accha Kaun Hein'? As you know my love is 'Himalay Se Uncha' and hopefully our 'Mulakat' will be 'An Evening in Paris'. 'Aa Gale Lag Jaa'!

'Hum Aapke Hain Koun...?'

'Prem Pujari'




World’s Prettiest Russian Hacker

A group of students from the New York University were arrested in the USA on suspicion of 3 million dollars theft from American banks and 9.5 million from British ones. One of the hackers deserves special attention and this is Kristina Svechinskaya – who has already been called the second Anna Chapman and the world’s hottest hacker.

Funny..... Sprite with IT Taste ...NICE


Funny..... Sprite with IT Taste ...NICE




Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad


Your Colleague
: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !!
  Naye projects seekh.....
  Fatafat Go Live kara......
  Overtime kar after 9:00 PM... like me....!
  Do something gooood man !!

You  
: Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague
: Impression!! ! Appraisal !!!
Har appraisal main tu No 1!
Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks for the company!!

You
: Phir kya hoga…

Your Colleague
: Manager ban jaayega..Phir Sr Manager !!!
 Phir AVP!! One day U will be a
 VP of the Company man !!

You
: Acchha to phir kya hoga…

Your Colleague
: Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega !
 Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You
 : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????



"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao. Hard Work hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

Powered by ctrl C

Driven by ctrl V
 

 



H.U.R.T




 

This story changed my life and I thought maybe it could change others too, so I'm sharing it with you.
This story was told to me by my sister, whom it happened to.
She was really upset because she hadn't see or spoken to her best friend Jim in a couple of weeks.
Finally he show up at her door and commands her to get dressed and go riding with him.
So she finally does
As they were riding , they passed a garden full of flowers
Jim says "Do you see those flowers ?
"Yes ,"she says.
"Do you think that when someone steps on those flowers that they lie there and feel sorry for themselves ?
Jim Asks.
"No"
"No , they immediately start to mend their wounds
so they can heal , and grow strong and healthy"
They ride a little further and Jim points up in a tree , 'You see those squirrels up there ?
Do you think that when people shoot at them they go hide forever "?
"No 'she says.
About that time the ocean cames into sight.
Jin Says "You see that ocean out there ?
Do you think that when there's a hurricane out there that the ocean doesn't go back out because it's
afraid to face the storm ?
No she says.
"Then, why have you stopped living because you have been hurt?
That story really hit me like a ton of bricks
The worst part was the fact that Jim died a short time later , And that's when she realized how much precious time she wasted.
Why have you stopped living because you been Hurt?
Have a beautiful day


DERIVATION OF THE WORDS



 

DERIVATIONS OF THE WORDS

 
[1] NEWS - refers to information from Four directions N, E, W and S.
~~
[2] POP MUSIC - is 'Popular Music' shortened.
~~
[3] TIPS - come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.
~~
[4] MOPED - is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.
~~
[5] BUS - is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.
~~
[6] FORTNIGHT - comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).
~~
[7] DRAWING ROOM - was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped.
~~
[8] AG-MARK, - which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.
~~
[9] JOURNAL - is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.
~~
[10] QUEUE - comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest.
~~
[11] JEEP - is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'. GP was changed into JEEP later.



BMW Z4




 

BMW Z4



A USA senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 160kmh; enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" He thought as he flew down the N1, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.


Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him with blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored the accelerator to 180 mph, then 220 then 240 mph..

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a valid reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman... I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir", said the policeman & drove off.!!



Facebook Addiction..... This is hilarious...!!


 

Facebook Addiction..... This is hilarious...!!



If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious


The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about Facebook?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

"Let me guess. Farmville?"

"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"

"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I unfriended him of course!"



For a Special Friend ..!!



 

For a Special Friend ..!!



Your cheerful smile
Your caressing hand
Its the really simple thing
That makes your life looks so grand

You are a special gIrl
Its in your eyes I can see the truth
There is no disguise

Its your spirit
May be your soul
But
My life without you
Would feel painfully old

you have been a true friend
I hope you stay
I would be so very empty
If you Ever went away


WITHOUT EARS



Without Ears
Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was
born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the
hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before
they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and
explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if
he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or
even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when
they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little
hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes."

" Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he
will have
20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be shit outta luck if
he needed glasses."
;;;;;
 
Trivia:
 
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your
stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing
still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

OLD ITALIAN COUPLE



 
Old Italian Couple
 
An old Italian couple is walking around in the mall.
After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first
saleswoman she sees and asks,
"Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony.
He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?"
The
saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband. So the Italian
woman goes to ask another saleswoman:
"Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?"
"No, I'm sorry maam, I haven't seen your husband."
The Italian woman goes
to see one more saleswoman and asks,
"Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?"
The
saleswoman answers, "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here
licketysplit."
"No no no, thatsa not-a my Tony. He pinch-a the bum,
grab-a the breasts...but he no lickety split!"
 
 
Types Of Female Orgasms
 
There are at least EIGHT types of ORGASM of a WOMAN

1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes..................

2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No....................

3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No............

4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming.............

5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God.........................

6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More.....................

7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you...

8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH...Deeper...Go DEEPER !!

 

Lawyers

Lawyers 

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only object on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming. 


One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW! I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction!" 
The lawyer on the ground was most sceptical and said, "You're hallucinating, and you've finally lost your mind." 


But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunningly beautiful woman, face up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much as a ring or earring on her person. The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered she was alive, warm, and breathing. 


One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long, long time. So do you think we should ....well ... you know ... screw her?" 


"Out of WHAT?" asked the other. 








QUIT SMOKING

 
Quit Smoking
 
    Two blondes are having lunch catching up with each other's news.
 
"I heard you've given up smoking, is it true?"
 
"Yes, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two months."
 
"But you were such a heavy smoker, you must tell me your secret.
I've tried everything to quit."
 
"Well it's really quite simple. Every time I get the urge to smoke a
Cigarette, I suck on a LifeSaver instead"
 
"Well that's easy for you, but I don't live near the beach"
 
HHHHH
 
"Oh Mom!" sobbed Little Mary, "I'm pregnant!"
"What!? How could you?" screamed the Mother,
"and just who is the father?"
The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed,
"How should I know?
You're the one who would never let me go steady!"
 
 
HHHHH
 
A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people
can be taken apart like machines?"

"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied
his mother.

The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking
to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed
the ass off his secretary."

 

 
"I hate to spoil your fun, but that's not my clit. It's a hemorrhoid"

Only for Married Persons


A factory had a policy of hiring only married men.

Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front Leader called on the CEO and asked him sharply,  "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you consider women as weak, dumb, cantankerous, or do you consider us tantrum throwers, bossy  and so on,?"

Not at all, Ma'am," the CEO replied. "It is because our Policy is to hire staff who are used to obeying orders without questioning, who are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut,  and put up with anything when I yell at them." 



Swami Vivekanand Explains Love : Excellent.....!!




A Nice Article about Love
                                                     -by Swami Vivekananda

                                           I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.

                                       Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool,
                                       she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held
                                                         it before me, and said this:

"You see this water carefully
contained on my hand?

It symbolizes Love."


This was how I saw it:

As long as you keep your hand
caringly open and allow it to remain there,

it will always be there.

However, if you attempt to close your fingers
round it and try to posses it,

it will spill through the first
cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do

when they meet love...

they try to posses it, they demand, they expect...
And just like the water spilling out of your hand,
love will retrieve from you .

For love is meant to be free,

you cannot change its nature.
If there are people you love,

allow them to be free beings.

Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple,

but it is a lesson that may take a
lifetime to truly practice.

It is the secret to true love.


To truly practice it,

you must sincerely feel

no expectations
from those who you love,

and yet an unconditional caring."

Passing thought...

Life is not measured by the number
of breaths we take;

but by the moments that take our
breath away.....

Life is beautiful!!! Live it !!!


 

__._,_.___