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Mar 27, 2011

How Celebs Lost Their Virginity ?


Adriana Lima, one of the sexiest Victoria’s Secret angels, held over her virginity until the age of 27 years when she married.
The first time is hardly ever the best time, but it is always a milestone. Often, this information is a closely guarded secret shared between selected friends and lovers, but we’re dealing with celebrities here! Check out 14 more such celebs who lost their virginity after the jump.
Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, said goodbye to his childhood in the age of 16, with her girlfriend.
Sienna Miller had also become an adult at 16.
Actor Matthew McConaughey said goodbye to his childhood at the age of 15.
Paris Hilton lost her virginity to TV producer Aaron Spelling's son Randy, according to the former Sunset Beach star himself.
Britney Spears lost her virginity in high school, at age the of 14, with a footballer - it is her mom Lynne, who described it in detail.
Khloe Kardashian told the audience that she had lost her virginity at age 14 with an adult male.
Angelina Jolie lost iher innocence at the age of 14 with her high school friend.
Matthew Fox, star of TV series "Lost," told the magazine «Playboy», that his first sexual experience took place in 14 years, with a girlfriend: "It was absolutely appalling and embarrassing."
Kelly Osbourne was a woman in 13 years.
Johnny Depp had his first sexual relationship at the age of 13.
Actress Megan Fox succumbed to temptation at the age of 17.
And frontman «Red Hot Chili Peppers», Anthony Kiedis, lost his virginity at 12 with a friend of his father.
Jessica Simpson kept her virginity upto 22 years, until she married pop singer and actor Nick Lachey (Nick Lachey).
Actress Lisa Kudrow , best known for the TV series "Friends", admitted that she lost her virginity until her marriage in 1995. At that time she was 32 years old.

Eat this and Perform

A guy walks into the pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "I have three girls coming over tonight! I have never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me interested, and keep me potent."

The pharmacist reaches under the counter and removes a brown box with an "X" on it. "Here," said the pharmacist. "If you eat this you'll go wild and nuts."
"Great!" the guys says. "Give me three of them."

The next day the guy comes back into the pharmacy. He drops his pants and the pharmacist looks in horror at the guys tool. It's black and blue, and the skin is hanging off of it.

"That "X" stuff was great, but now I need some Ben-Gay (analgesic heat rub used to relieve muscle and joint pain)," the guy shouted.

"You're not going to put Ben-Gay on that are you?" asked the pharmacist.

"Hell no." the guy shouted again.

"It's for my arms. The girls never showed up."

The Hippie and the Nun

A Hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her,

She said 'NO! I am married to god!!' and gets off the bus disgusted.

The bus driver said 'She prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why dont you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are God and demand sex?'

The hippie tries this and to his surprise the nun said 'Yes, but only if we have anal sex as I want to keep my virginity'.

They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries 'Ha ha' I'm the hippie!

The nun cries out 'ha ha' I'm the bus driver!"

Practice Safe Fax

Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.

Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger?
A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their phone number.

Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax?
A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure.

Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind?
A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.

Q. There is a place on our street where you can go and pay to fax. Is this legal?
A. Yes, many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and must pay a "professional" when their needs become too great.

Q. Should a cover always be used for faxing?
A. Unless you are really sure of the one you are faxing, a cover should always be used.

Q. What happens if I do the procedure incorrectly and fax prematurely?
A. Don't panic. Many people fax prematurely when they haven't faxed in a long time. Just start over, most people won't mind if you try again.

Q. I have a personal and a business fax. Can transmissions become mixed up?
A. Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but so long as you use a cover with each one you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.

Q. Is getting faxed by one person the same as with another?
A. No. Even though many people (especially lawyers) would like you to believe that the longer they are faxing you the better you will like it. In reality the best fax is short, of high quality, and very graphic.

Q. There is a man I'd very much like to fax (I've tried several times) but he can't seem to keep his equipment up long enough. Is there any thing I can do to help him?
A. You could suggest that he contact a good fax therapist, such as Canon or Mitsubishi. If he refuses to take the suggestion, it would be best if you just wrote him off.

Best Pickup Line Ever

A Newfie walks into a Toronto pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..'

The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
'What's so special about it?'

The Newfie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'

The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'
Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'

The woman giggles and replies
'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Newfie smiles, taps his watch and says,
'Damn thing's an hour fast!'"

Underwear Color

Three blondes passed every day through a street that led them from their room to their office. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.

One day, they heard, "Red, blue, black."

One of the blondes noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to her friends, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.

The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."

Hearing that, girls were astonished!! One of the blondes spoke up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird."

Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should wear any underwear. So, next day they wore no underwear and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house.

They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.

Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!"

Phun.! unlimited

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:

Dear Wife (that's what he called her),
I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel
with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him
as follows:

Dear Husband (that's what she called him),

I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Hilton Hotel
with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy.....
You being stupid accountant, will therefore, appreciate that.....

18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.

With best regards"

Technique of Unlocking the Door

One night a man and his date were about to go into his apartment after a night on the town. Before he could open his door, his date put her hand on his arm, and said, 'Wait a minute. Did you know that I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door?'

I'm not sure, replied her partner, 'give me an example!'

The first way, she tells him, 'is if a man shoves his key in the lock and opens the door hard! That means he's a rough lover and that isn't for me. The second way,' she continues, 'is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole. That means he's inexperienced and that isn't for me either! Which brings us to you,', she smiles. 'How do you unlock your door?'

'Well', her friend replies, 'Before I do anything else, I lick the lock FIRST.'"

Woman's and Man's Prayers before sleeping

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be annoyed. Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and help me stand. Oh send a king to make me queen. A man who loves to cook and clean. I pray this man will love no other. And relish visits with my mother.


A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nym*homaniac with big breasts who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t."

Molly the Camel for Army People

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.

The nervous Sergeant said, "Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel."

The Captain said, "I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the 'urges', so the camel can stay."

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'. Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild and insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"

"No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."


Moral of the story
If you are not sure of how things are done, don't be ashamed to ask for clarification before doing it ...
not after you have done it wrongly...

Little Johnny and the Vibrator

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

The first little boy says, 'Alligator.'

'Very good, that's a big word.'

The second boy says, 'Predator.'

'Yes, that's another big word. Well done.'

Little Johnny says, 'Vibrator, Miss.'

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, 'That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything.'

'Well my Dad knows a lady named Nancy that has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!'"

Male ear is SELECTIVE

"Many times, people say that the women species talk too much...

But there's no problem, because the male ear is SELECTIVE

Example...

When the women say:

'This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don't wash them now !!!'

...
...
...
...
...

The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, NOW !!!"

Buldeep singh

Buldeep singh went to Colombo for official matter and called to his house over phone. Servant had taken the receiver.

Buldeep singh : Who is speaking?

Servant : Servant Sir.

Buldeep singh : Where is the Madam?

Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.

Buldeep singh : What? I am her husband came to Colombo today.

Servant: What can I do now sir?


Buldeep singh : Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.


(After some time ... there come 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...)


Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?

Buldeep singh : Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool

Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir

Buldeep singh : What...? No swimming pool?

Servant: Yes Sir

Buldeep singh : Sorry, wrong number!!!!!! !!

Ticket Checker and Fine

A TC in a train collects fine from girls...


He collects Rs.300 from a girl-
she was wearing sleeveless.




From 2nd girl he collects Rs. 200
she was wearing sleeveless & backless.






From 3rd girl he collects Rs. 100
she was wearing a sleeveless & backless & a skimpy mini-skirt.. .






From 4th girl he collects Rs. 0
why?

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Perverted dirty minds !! what r u thinking??

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She had a ticket !!!"

You know what I think

Fred and Mary get married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think!
Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'

She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school .'

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'

His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'

He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for some lubricating lotion or cold cream and I think...

I gave him Fevicol.'

Bastard uncle

A blonde guy comes home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife n*ked on the bed, sweating and panting.
'What happened' he says.
'I'm having a heart attack' cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs and grabs phone and just as he is dialing 911 his 4 year old son comes up and says,
'Daddy! Daddy!.... Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on'.....

The guy slams down the phone and storms upstairs into the bedroom past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally n*ked, cowering in the closet.

'You bastard' shouts the husband,
'my wife's having a heart attack and your running around scaring the kids!!!!'"

Indian are Indians

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Indian were drinking at a bar, discussing what they had done the previous evening.

The Italian says: 'Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream nonstop for five minutes.'

The Frenchman says: 'Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with a special aphrodisiac oil, then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight.'

The Indian says: 'That's nothing. Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with Amul butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, then made love and I made her scream for two long hours.'

The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, 'Two hours, phenomenal!'

What did you do to make her scream for two hours??

Indian: I wiped my hands on the curtains."

I Like Your Thinking

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Johnny.
'None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking.' Then Little Johnny says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, 'Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

'The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking.'"

God, they are finally together

Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer. She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,

'Lord, they are finally together.'

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret,

'Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?'

Margaret replied, 'I think he means her legs.'"

Misc Jokes

Subjiwala to Madam : 500 ka note blouse se nikala hai kya?
Madam: hann par kaise pata laga?
Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muh
abhi bhi khula hua hai!

*******************************

Husband touched b__bs and
- sung: Piyo glass full doodh,
- wonderful doodh.
- Immediately wife touched
- his pe--s n said: Thanda
- matlab CHOTA COKE!"

What you Sell?

Two Australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in their new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no stock and only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling'.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Japanese accent asked 'What you sell?' One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling a*se-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said,
'Ah Sooo You doing velly well, only two left'."

Running in the Marathon

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'

'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'

'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being n*ked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

'Do you always run in the n*de?' one asked.

'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?

'Oh , yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home! '

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

'No..........just when it's raining.