Careers

CAREERS A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost.   He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what Hole I'm on." She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."   He thanked her and continued playing golf.   Later, he got lost again. He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed. "I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost; can you Please tell me what hole I'm on." She told him, "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13."   Again, he thanked her and continued playing golf.   When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted. As they were drinking and talking, he asked her what she did for a living. "I'm in sales," she said. He replied, "No kidding; so am I. What do you sell?" She responded that it was too embarrassing to tell; but after he kept pleading to know what she sold, she finally said that she would tell him if he promised not to laugh. He promised. She said, "I sell WHISPER (sanitary napkins)." He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically. She said, "You promised you wouldn't laugh". He replied (still with tears in his eyes), "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper..... I'm still one Hole behind you."

AirBags

Who said your death has to be Boring? Here is some effort from the car companies to make your last journey a bit Pleasurable.

A Profound Answer

A Profound Answer The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?" Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make?" (She paused for a second, then began...) "Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. "I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. "You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table) "I make kids wonder. "I make them question. "I make them apologize and mean it. "I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. "I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything. "I make them read, read, read. "I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator. "I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity. "I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. "Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life." (Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.) "Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. "What do you make Mr. CEO?" His jaw dropped, he went silent. THIS IS WORTH SENDING TO EVERY TEACHER, EVERY CEO, EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW. Even all your personal teachers like mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, coaches and your spiritual leaders/teachers. A truly profound answer!!! Teaching is... the profession that makes all other professions possible!

What Is Love????

What Is Love???? A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle... Girl: Slow down. I am scared. Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. -:- Girl hugs him -:- Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me. (In the paper the next day): A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die. "Love is not selfish so Love is not being happy it is to make happy to whom you love even if you are unhappy with it." No one really knows what tomorrow holds in store for you, you might not live to see the next day and sometimes you have to tell someone something but run out of time to do so. So take five minutes out of your time to tell someone you love them because you really never know if this is the last day of your life.

Fwd: [Mail_For_Fun] Watch For The Blessings

Watch For The Blessings "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" When God takes something from your grasp. He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

M E N

M E N Q : What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A : Shoot him again. Q : How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A : When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q : Why do little boys whine? A : Because they're practicing to be men. Q : How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A : One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. Q : What do you call a handcuffed man? A : Trustworthy. Q : What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A : You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q : Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A : To stop the snoring before it starts. Q : What is the difference between men and women? A : A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q : How does a man keep his youth? A : By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q : How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A : Rename the mail folder "instruction manuals"

Important Life Lesson

Important Life Lesson During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious studentAnd had breezed through the questions until I readThe last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the Cleaning woman several times. She was tall, Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if The last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers, You will meet many people. All are significant. They Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do Is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her Name was Dorothy.