Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with Rs 86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day; allows you to keep no cash balance; every night deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do with such an account Draw out every penny, of course!!!
Every one of us has such a 'bank'. Its name is TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow. You must live in the present -on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today!!!
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Mar 13, 2010
Fishing Licence
Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing when a Fishery officer stopped him.
The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"
Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the officer asked.
Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home."
"That's a bunch of baloney, fish can't do that."
Banta looks at the officer and says, "You want me to show you?"
Very curious now, the officer says, "O.K. I've got to see this"
Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.
After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, "Well?"
"Well, What?" Banta says.
The Officer asks, "Are you going to call your fish back?"
"Fish! What fish?" Banta responds.
The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"
Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the officer asked.
Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home."
"That's a bunch of baloney, fish can't do that."
Banta looks at the officer and says, "You want me to show you?"
Very curious now, the officer says, "O.K. I've got to see this"
Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.
After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, "Well?"
"Well, What?" Banta says.
The Officer asks, "Are you going to call your fish back?"
"Fish! What fish?" Banta responds.
I am a Father
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. "
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.. "
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
"Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. "
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.. "
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
"Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."
Hilarous
Guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says "Hello!!!". He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says..."do you know me???"... to which she replies..." I think you're the father of one of my kids"....
Completely shocked...the guy's mind travels back to the only time when he was unfaithful to his wife and
says..." My God!... are you the stripper from my bachelor party that i made love to on the pool table???!!"
Confused... she looks into his eyes and says calmly..." No... I am your son's teacher"
Moral Of The Story ........ Need to Know The Complete Picture Before U Open your Mouth
Completely shocked...the guy's mind travels back to the only time when he was unfaithful to his wife and
says..." My God!... are you the stripper from my bachelor party that i made love to on the pool table???!!"
Confused... she looks into his eyes and says calmly..." No... I am your son's teacher"
Moral Of The Story ........ Need to Know The Complete Picture Before U Open your Mouth