Feb 9, 2010
Black eyes
The naughty, Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.
His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it was not my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That`s when she hit me!"
"Johnny," the father said. "You don`t do those kind of things to women."
The very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny`s father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It was not my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn`t like this, so I pushed it back in!"
His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it was not my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That`s when she hit me!"
"Johnny," the father said. "You don`t do those kind of things to women."
The very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny`s father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It was not my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn`t like this, so I pushed it back in!"
The Bull and Husband
A man takes his wife to the county livestock show, and they head down the aisle that houses the bulls.
The sign on the first stall states,
THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR.
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year. Isn’t that nice!“
After passing a bull that had mated 65 times, she grinningly quips, “You could learn from this one!“
They reach the last bull, whose owner is stroking the massive beast’s head.
How many times has your bull mated this year? asks the wife.
This here’s the pride of the County: 365 times, maam.
The wife’s jaw drops, and she turns to her husband.
Wow! You could really learn from this one.
You should ask him what his secret is!
The fed-up man turns to the breeder and says,
Hey, was it all with the same cow?
The sign on the first stall states,
THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR.
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year. Isn’t that nice!“
After passing a bull that had mated 65 times, she grinningly quips, “You could learn from this one!“
They reach the last bull, whose owner is stroking the massive beast’s head.
How many times has your bull mated this year? asks the wife.
This here’s the pride of the County: 365 times, maam.
The wife’s jaw drops, and she turns to her husband.
Wow! You could really learn from this one.
You should ask him what his secret is!
The fed-up man turns to the breeder and says,
Hey, was it all with the same cow?