Feb 3, 2010
The donkey
A village potter used to make pots and planters. He would go to a near by town to sell his wares. He had a donkey on whose back he would load the pots etc.
Diwali was fast approaching, so the potter decided to make some statues of Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi, to sell in town. He made some beautiful statues and painted them in bright colours. He then loaded them on to the back of his donkey and set off towards the city.
On the way, he crossed many people. They would invariably fold their hands and bow to the statues of Ganesha and Lakshmi. By the time they reached the city, many people had bowed their heads before the deities.
They reached the exhibition ground where the artisans could exhibit their things. Soon the potter was able to sell his statues for a good sum. He was pleased indeed!
The potter took his donkey by the muzzle and set off on the road leading back to the village. Every time they would cross anyone, the donkey would stop and preen himself prettily as if he were a model. But what was the matter! No one seemed to as much as glance at him! Why were people not bowing their heads before him anymore? Desperate to catch their attention, the donkey started to bray louder & louder...
He-haw, he-haw...... He went on. The passers-by started pelting stones at him in annoyance. The potter was bewildered too.
The poor donkey had thought that everyone was bowing to him, little realizing that their reverence was directed to the idols of God tied to his back and not to him!
Many of us make this mistake. A person occupying a seat of power, often finds people saluting him. If he thinks that the salutations are in his honour, he is living in a fool's paradise, like the donkey in the story!
The respect is given to the chair and not to the person occupying it. As soon as he steps down from the position, the people around him vanish.
Frogs croak only when it rains, as soon as the rain stops, they vanish.
25 Reasons I owe my Mum !
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
2.My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"4.My mother taught me LOGIC." Because I said so, that's why."
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC ."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6.My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
you're not going to the store with me."
6.My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7.My mother taught me IRONY"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8.My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."9.My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"10.My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."9.My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"10.My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11.My mother taught me about WEATHER ."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"13.My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"
14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"
15.My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING ."You are going to get it when you get home!"
"Just wait until we get home."
17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING ."You are going to get it when you get home!"
18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19.My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20.My mother taught me HUMOR ."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."
21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."
23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS ."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24.My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite:My mother taught me about JUSTICE"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!!"
24.My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite:My mother taught me about JUSTICE"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!!"
(This is commonly known as THE MOTHER'S CURSE that is passed on to all generations.
And it does come true!)
A Nice Lesson..!
Once a boy went to a shop with his mother. The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets
And said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets...
But the child didn't take. The shop keeper was surprised.. Such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets....
Now the mother also heard that and said.. Take the sweets dear.. Yet he didn't take... The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... He himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.
While returning home the Mother asked the child... Why didn't you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?..
Can you guess the response: Child replies... Mom! My hands are very small and if I take the sweets I can only take few.. But now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... How many more sweets I got!
Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives... HE gives us more beyond our expectations... More than what we can hold..!!
An Elderly Woman's Portrait
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.
"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"
Drinks All Around
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill. In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"
The drunk replies, "You !!?? No way! You get too violent when you drink.
One liners - Definations
1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
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2. Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a 5 day test match.
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3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which the man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gains her master's.
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4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
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5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through "the minds of either".
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6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in? such a way that everybody believes, she got the biggest piece.
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8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which the masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
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9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage and success before work.
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10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everyone disagrees later on.
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11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
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12. Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.
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13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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14. Office: A place where you can relax from the strenuous home life.
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15. Yawn: The only time some married men get to open their mouth.
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16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
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17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
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19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Sex Life
A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.
Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your girlfriend's face while you're having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"Well, how did she look?"
"Oh boy, she looked VERY angry!"
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.
Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend's face once during sex, that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?"
"She was watching us through the window".