Wedding Ring!

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger






There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.....




Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children


Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip.


Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.


Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.


Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.


Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).


You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!


Please try this out......... ISN'T THIS A LOVELY THEORY?

O shit

Car operating system

Bill's company made software to run a car.


Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.


Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.


A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"


Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.


In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.


He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.


Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.


A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.


All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.


Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."


Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."


Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

This is what ..... Looks Like !!

THIS IS WHAT
SORRY
LOOKS LIKE.

This is what
tired
looks like.

This is what
bad spelling
looks like.. 

This is what
intimacy
looks like.

This is what
courage
looks like.

This is what
'good grief!!'
looks like.

This is what your
tax dollars
look like. 

 This is what
'I can wait'
looks like.

 

 This is what a
blonde's
car looks like..

This is what a
helping hand
looks like  

 

This is what
cold
looks like. 

This is what a
bad mood
looks like. 

It doesn't matter how many people you send this to.
Just remember if it made you smile, your friends will smile too!

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.......
'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Try it out !!!

1.Copy the below content and Paste it to notepad.
2 Use replace all (Ctrl + H)
3.And click on 'replace all' 6 with _ (Under score), (Try font size as 6)












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Why men don't write advice columns......

Why R Women Complicated !!!!!!

Upcoming Cars :: 2010

This whole thing made me sick!

I just found the “World of Medicine” is scamming people – and even worse: with the help of “law-makers!”
It seems that “money” (as usual) has blinded doctors and medical practitioners to the degree that they are now willingly *suppressing* the truth regarding diabetes – its control and even its cure!
That’s right: I said it ... “cure!”
And this should shock you even more:
It seems that it’s against the law to say the word “cure” when describing anything that actually cures you.
Yet it’s very much okay to say that something “treats” or helps “offset” the symptoms of some health condition or disease.
But if you say “cure” (and this even includes when you in fact have a real and bona fide cure for something and can even prove it!) you can get arrested.
Ever wonder why no one ever talks about “curing diabetes”? Everyone seems to be content with finding ways to “control diabetes” or “live with diabetes”. And for good reason.
No one’s out to “cure” anyone because there’s little money in doing so.
Instead, keeping you sick and marginally pain-free is all anyone’s really out to do for you these days – as doing so means you being “forced” to buy all the same drugs over and over again, and again, and ... (you get the point!)
Of course, if a cure came along it would mean you buy it one time, and then you’re cured – and that’s that (over and done!)
Listen, if somebody showed you how to cure diabetes… they wouldn’t make very much money off of you. Right? But if somebody invents a pill or a shot that helps you live with diabetes… they’ll get your money week-after-week, month-after-month, year-after-year until the day you die. Make sense?
In fact, there’s a saying in the drug industry:
Cures Kill Profits!
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have to depend on some big drug company to keep me alive and comfortable just so I can give them more of my hard-earned money every month.
I’d much rather take control of my own health and find a way to banish diabetes.
Now a number of doctors, medical scientists and researchers armed with “real answers” and “real solutions” are stepping up and are NOT afraid of “Uncle Big-Bully Brother!”
One courageous fellow by the name of Matt Traverso is doing exactly this!
Not only that, but Matt Traverso has lectured and personally helped individuals beat the disease to the point that proven sufferers have actually gotten re-diagnoses as “no longer having the disease at all!” (Something that’s pretty much always been ruled out as a possibility altogether! – and now which may even be against the law!)
But why don’t we hear about this information from the American Diabetes Association? The truth is, the American Diabetes Association are benefiting hugely from the current trend in diabetes. They are funded by pharmaceutical companies who would lose out if people reversed there diabetic conditions.
The treatment of Diabetes brings in over $10 Million Dollars EVERY SINGLE HOUR of the day to Doctors, Pharmaceutical companies, and testing supply businesses. With that kind of money at stake Big Pharma is going to extreme lengths to silence information about natural cures and alternatives for treating diabetes.
Therefore it’s not certain how long Matt will be allowed to do this because “Uncle Sambo” has actually started using “Gestapo” tactics whereby people and businesses truly offering “cures” have been raided with masked armed police who even go to the point of forcing customers in the stores to get down on the floor at gunpoint!

What Doctors Say And What They Really Mean

"This should be taken care of right away."
 - I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Wellll, what do we have here...?"
 - He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Let me check your medical history."
 - I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
 - I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this is a waste of time.  - or-
 - I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

"We have some good news and some bad news."
 - The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

"Let's see how it develops."
 - Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

"Let me schedule you for some tests."
 - I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
 - He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
 - I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
 - I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
 - I think I'm going to throw up.

"This may smart a little."
 - Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"
 - I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

"This should fix you up."
 - The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

"Everything seems to be normal."
 - Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

"I'd like to run some more tests."
 - I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
 - You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split the fees with me...

"There is a lot of that going around."
 - My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

"If the symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
 - I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.

Blue ball

"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."

The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.

"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!"

"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.

Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."

Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too.  Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.

"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."

After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him the bad news: If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, the patient does not want to hear about it.

"You want to die?" asks the doctor.

"But...how do I pee?"

"We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem." So the patient has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again. He is very angry.

"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!"

"What?"

"Can you tell me what the hell is happening?"

The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?"



In a nearly empty London bar on a filthy winter's day, there were several patrons quietly drinking when in comes your stereotypical American visitor, obviously unimpressed by the country, its weather and everything else about it.

He says loudly, "What a lousy country. The bars are shut half the time, it's cold, wet and windy, the beer tastes like piss and is served at the same temperature, the streets are packed and you can't even get a cab."

Several people quietly leave.

He looks at a gentleman quietly sipping a pink gin and says, "Hey,
limey:
how can you bear to live in such a miserable place?"

He is ignored, more people leave. After much more of this only the gentleman with the pink gin, the barman and the American are left.

He says, "Hey, limey, I'm talking to you. I've been to damn near every country in the world and this is the lousiest. I dunno how you can bear to live here. This country is just the arsehole of the world."

The gentleman with the pink gin pauses, takes another sip and, turning, delicately enquires of the American, "Oh, yes. Just passing through, are you?"

Monday, Dec 28, 2009 Funny

Extracts from the problem page of the famous Australian men's magazine "Cobbler's", starring the legendary "Uncle Bruce,"... the " agony aunt with Balls"

Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet. I am beginning to wonder if they really are lucky as they have been there for two months.
A. Jesus mate, no worries. Men only use rubbers when they are sober anyway. Guess that means you've been pissed for two months which makes you one lucky b@st@rd! Just on a medical note rubbers are good when you do an Abo as they are smelly bastards, Oh and Roos too, helps avoid bush rash.

Q. Dear Bruce my girlfriend got upset when I suggested I use an old girlfriend's vibrator on her.
A. No worries. I've seen this before. Women need reassuring. Tell the stupid bitch that you have cleaned it since you last used it. Sometimes Sheila's get hung up on hygiene.

Q. Dear Bruce I gave my sister one up the shitter and now she wants me to do her mate.
A. Eh mate you're from Melbourne right? No worries mate, as long as her mate is a Sheila it's ok.

Q. Dear Bruce, After my last Hockey game I got an erection in the showers. Is this normal , I am a single guy and like girls.
A. Nah mate you're queer. Only queers play hockey.

Q .Dear Bruce, my wife says I don't use enough lubricant before we have sex.
A. Exactly how many beers are you drinking before you root her ?

Q. Dear Bruce , I am beginning to suspect I am gay. I wear leather trousers and have just grown a Freddie Mercury moustache. I don't know who to turn to.
A. Get a grip of yourself man. Face facts, be logical: You're queer, no one likes you , get a gun, blow your brains out.

Q. Dear Bruce my girl friend says we don't do enough foreplay.
A. Geez mate, you had me stumped for a bit. I didn't recognise the word Foreplay. Then it struck me, Fore is what you shout in golf.. Jeez guy, men don't play golf with women but it's ok for her practice putting with your dick.

Q. Dear Bruce, I fooled around with a Kiwi and now I have a dose.
What do I do ?
A. Deny ,deny, deny, deny, deny and never ever ,ever, ever ,ever admit to going with a kiwi.

Q. Bruce the boys are telling me there is such a thing as Dingo sex.
What is it ? A. There are two types. The first one when you wake up next to a f*cking ugly Sheila and you chew your arm off to escape rather than wake her, just like a dingo caught in a trap, and the other one is when you drink too much and your old boy it Dingo in and dingo hard.

Logistics and Organization

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.


Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"


Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"


Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.


If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "


Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"


Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"


Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.


Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.


He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Some Interesting Facts About Internet

Myspace Facts

�


MySpace was founded by former Friendster members Chris Dewolfe and Tom Anderson in 2003. They saw opportunity to beat Friendster with more options and less restrictions for social network users. MySpace was purchased in 2005 for $580 million by Rupert Murdoch creator of a media empire that includes 20th Century Fox and the Fox television stations. MySpace has more than 40 billion page views a month. Google paid $900 million to be MySpace's search provider. MySpace runs on Microsoft .NET Framework, operating under Windows 2003 server and applications written in C# for ASP.NET.


�


******


�


History of Amazon.com


�


Jeff Bezon coined the term Amazon.com from the earlier name Cadabra.com. It was the excellent way to present large volume online bookstore. But did he have hidden intentions? It is hard to believe but in the early Internet days, when Yahoo was dominant search engine, results on one page were listed alphabetically. Amazon would always appear above its competition for a specific keywords. This could be a breaking point for Jeff to expand and became what it is today.


�


******


�


What Is Google?


�


Google, the Internet search company founded in September 1998. by Larry Page & Sergey Brin, got it's name from the word Googol, which represents number 1 followed with hundred zeros after it.


�


******


�


What Is Yahoo!?


�


Yahoo the complex internet organism has complicated name. Word "Yahoo" is shortcut for "Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle". It was coined by PhD candidates at Stanford University: David Filo and Jerry Yang.


�

The POOR mANS vACAtions

One bedroom Flat

WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER
A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree inSoftware Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down. Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get any more holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA . My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.
After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-childrenEvery year I decide to go to India … but part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA ... My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India ... My 2 children and I returned to US After promising my wife I would be back for good after two years. Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA ... I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India ... I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well developed locality.
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.SometimesI wondered was it worth all this?
My father, even after staying in India, Had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more. I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me. Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the questionstill remains 'was all this worth it?' I am still searching for an answer...
START THINKING IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???
LIFE IS BEYOND THIS.DON'T JUST LEAVING YOUR LIFE.
START LIVING IT. LIVE ITAS YOU WANT IT TO BE.

Mistake

Mistakes




If a barber makes a mistake,



It's a ... New Style







If a driver makes a mistake,




It is a New path ... New Path










If a engineer makes a mistake,




It is a ... New Venture











If parents makes a mistake,




It is a ... New Generation









If a politician makes a mistake,




It is a ... New Law











If a scientist makes a mistake,




It is a ... New Invention











If a tailor makes a mistake,




It is a ... New Fashion











If a teacher makes a mistake ,




It is a ... New Theory











If our boss makes a mistake,




It is a New idea ...
















If an employee makes a mistake,




It is a Mistake ... Mistake

Funniest 50 jokes

Never Believe wt the lines of ur hand predict abt ur future,
caz people who d'nt hve hands also hv a future... Believe in urself












1 A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.


2 Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?


3 Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".


4 Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!


5 Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.


6 Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs
back.


7 Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....


8 Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
passengers in the
car he was driving..


9 Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!


10 Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


11 Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..


12 A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".


13 Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?


14 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.


15 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.


16 A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"


17 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."


18 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."


19 Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"


20 Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".


21 What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.


22 Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"




23 Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"


24 As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"


25 Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


26 What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician


27 Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"


28 How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.


29 once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the
weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.


30 Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. "
When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?
(What Happened, My Son?)




31 The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, )
aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!


32 Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens .
because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'


33 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.


34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.


35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.


36 .How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.


37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.


38 Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???


40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
break
fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.


41 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!


42 Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!


52
43 Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.


44 Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born






45 Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.


46 Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.


47 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions


48 Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."


49 Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!
gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. ..


50 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense