A couple has a male friend who's visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling.
�
Since the couple has no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.
�
"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three of us, and we're all friends here."
�
The husband concurs, and before long they're settled in: husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his right.
�
After a while, the husband begins snoring, and the wife sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed, and invites him to have sex with her.
�
Naturally, he'd like to, but he's reluctant.
�
"We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me."
�
"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair off of his butt. He won't even wake up."
�
So the friend yanks a hair off the husband's anus, and sure enough, she's right.
�
Her husband sleeps right through having a hair yanked out of his butt.
�
So, she and the friend have sex, and then she goes back to her side of the bed.
�
After about twenty minutes, though, she's back on his side of the bed, asking him to do it again.
�
The same argument follows, another hair is yanked from the husband's corn hole, and again they have sex.
�
This keeps up for about half the night, until after about the sixth time, when the wife goes back to her side.
�
Then the husband rolls over, and whispers to his friend, "I don't mind that you're shagging my wife, but do you really have to use my butthole as your scoreboard?"
Dec 11, 2009
Kids View of Marriage and Relationships
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10
*******
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Twentythree is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." Freddie, age 6
*******
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8
*******
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8
*******
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8.
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10
*******
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9
*******
WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich." Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7
"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8
*******
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." Anita, 9
"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaperchanging." Kirsten, age 10
*******
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8
"You can be sure of one thing the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." Roberta, age 7
*******
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10
mother of all
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.
'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would have been 24 years old now.'
'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully.
He's a martyr now though' mum confides.
'Oh, so sad dear' says the other.
And this is my second son Kalid. He would have been 21.'
'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair
when he was born'.
'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly.
'Oh, gracious me ...' Says the other.
'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would have been 18, she whispers.
'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I remember when he first
started school'
'He's a martyr also,' says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks
wistfully at the photographs and says...
'They blow up so fast, don't they...'
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.
'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would have been 24 years old now.'
'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully.
He's a martyr now though' mum confides.
'Oh, so sad dear' says the other.
And this is my second son Kalid. He would have been 21.'
'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair
when he was born'.
'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly.
'Oh, gracious me ...' Says the other.
'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would have been 18, she whispers.
'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I remember when he first
started school'
'He's a martyr also,' says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks
wistfully at the photographs and says...
'They blow up so fast, don't they...'
Height of Communication GAP
Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs.Sharma receives a telephone call from Electric Company because the electricity bill has not been paid. " Am I speaking to Mrs.Sharma ? " "Yes...... speaking"
guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"
"Yes ........... We have a system of finding out who's overdue "
"GOD !!!!!!......
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ........ let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ..... he will speak to your company tomorrow "
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Electric Company's office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Elecric Company , "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
The next day, Mrs.Sharma receives a telephone call from Electric Company because the electricity bill has not been paid. " Am I speaking to Mrs.Sharma ? " "Yes...... speaking"
guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"
"Yes ........... We have a system of finding out who's overdue "
"GOD !!!!!!......
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ........ let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ..... he will speak to your company tomorrow "
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Electric Company's office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Elecric Company , "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
Beauty Secrets
For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge
You never walk alone.
We leave you a tradition of the future.
The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, redeemed and redeemed and redeemed.
Never throw anyone away.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you'll discover that you have two hands - one for helping yourself, the second for helping others.
You've great days still ahead of you. May there be many of them.
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge
You never walk alone.
We leave you a tradition of the future.
The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, redeemed and redeemed and redeemed.
Never throw anyone away.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you'll discover that you have two hands - one for helping yourself, the second for helping others.
You've great days still ahead of you. May there be many of them.
Management Stories
Story # 1
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd !"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd !"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT
To be a Manager [ IT joke ]
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one handvand a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee".
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa,Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa,Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
WOMAN!
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don't, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don't, you are 'not understanding'.
If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don't, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it is bad,
If you aren't, she thinks you don't love her.
If you attempt a romance, she says you don't respect her,
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it's a girl's way.
If you visit other men, you are not putting in quality time,
If she is visited by other women, "Ah! It's natural, we are girls."
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage.
If you fail to help her cross the street, you lack ethics,
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction.
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting,
If she is stared by a man, she says that they are just admiring.
If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful.
Valentine Day__sMs Collection
Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care.
Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.
Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love,
Then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.
24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
Person like me will make ur life lovely.
Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.
Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love,
Then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.
24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
Person like me will make ur life lovely.
Wen things go wrong...
Wen sadness fills ur heart...
Wen tears flow in ur eyes...
Always remember 3 things
1) I'm with u...
2) Still with u...
3) Will ALWAYS b...
Wen things go wrong...
Wen sadness fills ur heart...
Wen tears flow in ur eyes...
Always remember 3 things
1) I'm with u...
2) Still with u...
3) Will ALWAYS b...
Luv meanz to see someone with closed eyez,
To miss some1 in crowd,
2 find some1 in every thought,
To live 4 some1, luv some1, but sure tht sum1 is ONLY one!
Khushi se dil ko aabad karna...
Aur gham ko dil se azad karna,
Hamari bus itni gujarish hai ke hame bhi
Din me ek baar YAAD karna...
If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever..
If Your askin if I'll Leave U the answer is Never..
If Your askin what I value the Answer is U..
If Your askin if I love U the answer is I do.
I dream about you evey night
I shiver when your in sight
I long to hold you close n tight
I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I'm the girl whos right
When I look at you,
I cannot deny there is God,
Cause only God could have created some one
As wonderful n beautiful as you
If I reached for your hand , will u hold it ?
If I hold out my arms, will u hug me ?
If I go for your lips, will u kiss me ?
If I capture ur heart , will u love me ??
Smile in Pleasure
Smile in Pain
Smile when trouble pours like Rain
Smile when sum1 Hurts U
Smile becoz SOMEONE still
Loves to see u Smiling!!
No shadows 2 depress u
Only joys 2 surround u
Many friends 2 luv u
God himself 2 bless u
These r my wishes 4 u,
For today, tomorrow & everyday
C.L.I.C.K. Means :
L= love u
I= I miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK.
Don't go for looks,
They can deceive
Don't go for wealth
Even that fades away.
Smile becoz only a smile makes
A dark day seem bright..
Blonde Hell (may offend)
A guy dies and goes to Hell. When he gets down there its nothing at all like he thought it would be. It's just like the beach... clear blue sky, about 85 degrees, sandy beach and waves as far as the eye can see.
As the guy starts walking along the beach he comes upon an old dude he knows who died a few years back. The old dude is laying on the beach with this super hot little hardbody blonde all wrapped around him, and a large cooler chest of beer at his feet.
The young guy asks in amazement, "This is hell?"
"Yeah," the old dude responds. "Wanna beer?"
"Sure!" the young guy says as he grabs one from the cooler. After turning the can of beer over several times he cries, "Hey, there's no hole in this beer!"
"Yeah," the old dude says mournfully. "There's no hole in this blonde either."
THIS IS HELL!!!
As the guy starts walking along the beach he comes upon an old dude he knows who died a few years back. The old dude is laying on the beach with this super hot little hardbody blonde all wrapped around him, and a large cooler chest of beer at his feet.
The young guy asks in amazement, "This is hell?"
"Yeah," the old dude responds. "Wanna beer?"
"Sure!" the young guy says as he grabs one from the cooler. After turning the can of beer over several times he cries, "Hey, there's no hole in this beer!"
"Yeah," the old dude says mournfully. "There's no hole in this blonde either."
THIS IS HELL!!!
Laughter Dose ....
Nokia has finally designed a cell phone for people who need to make a cell phone call while visiting in Charlotte, Cincinnati, East Saint Louis, Memphis, South Chicago, South Dallas, Houston, L.A. , Miami , Detroit , Washington D.C., parts of New York City, New Orleans , and much of Atlanta.
A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was
unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned
and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so
much as "Thank you."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day
gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."
unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned
and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so
much as "Thank you."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day
gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a blonde were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The blonde chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the blonde reverently. "That little bottle -- how does it know?"
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The blonde chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the blonde reverently. "That little bottle -- how does it know?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The History of the Middle Finger
Well, now......here'
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'