Marriage

Lubricant

Murphy's' old lady had been  pregnant for some time and now the time had come. 
He brought her to the  doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey,    Murph! You just had you a son,!

'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this, 
but just then the doctor  spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't  finished  yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl. 
He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a  daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we  aint got done yet, !'

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had  yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem  babies,?' 
The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during  conception.' 
Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three  children, he sat down with his wife and said, 

'Mama, you remember dat night  that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'

She said, 'Yeah, I  remember dat night...'

Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ....it's a  f””kin' good ting we didn't use WD-40.

THE JOYS OF AGEING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship
Holding her hat so that it wouldn't blow away in
The wind.?



















A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.

I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your
Dress is blowing up in this wind?"





"Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat."?

"But madam, he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!"??

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said,





"Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat
Yesterday!"


 

Okay.........here it is. A test to see if your brain is still working.

Which one do you think is the
Blonde?

 

Scroll down

Amazing I did not See it before..

 

The Blonde is the one With the wrong leg up.

That is OK I did not Pass the test EITHER!!!!!

Comics jokes don't miss

 

 

 

 

A GoOd LessOn to Learn

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.

He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends burst in laughter and said: "What a shame... What a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!!!

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't react on a situation or take a decision on an issue unless you dig to the bottom of it. You never know when you're making fun of yourself!